Taking off the "mommy" hat and going to the office for the day

Today is a different from my normal Fridays.  Normally I am at home in my house clothes, with hair up in a pony tail and my two boys playing in the background.  But today I am sitting on an office chair, dressed in my "fancy" jeans with hair combed nicely, next to a stack of papers doing data entry.  There is something oddly relaxing and peaceful about data entry for a mom of two young boys.  It is the same thing that also brings peace from waiting for hours for your car to be serviced, no interruptions and quietness with my thoughts.

Anyways, I am at my husband's work, Children's Hunger Fund, helping out until he gets off work so we can join the rest of the family on vacation later today.  Its fun to be in a different environment for the day, something different than the regular routine of laundry and babies.  But more specifically it is fun to get an inside look on what my husband's regular routine day looks like while I am at home with the kids.  So in honor of my day off from mommy duties, I thought I would do a post about my husband and where he works.  (If you click on the link above, my husband's responsibility at work is to help maintain their website, so you can get a very real look at what he works on all day.)

We are so blessed that my husband has a job that he really enjoys.  He enjoys the work he does, the people he works with and the company he works for.  He constantly tells me what a joy and blessing it is to work for a company that he truly respects how they operate and the motive for doing so.

Children's Hunger Fund is a non-profit organization that helps feed hungry children throughout the country and overseas.  They use the provision of food as a means to share the gospel.  It is funny, in an ironic way, that he is working here as that was not our plan.  Our plan, as you might know, is to go overseas to the Philippines to be missionaries.  But after Allan graduated from seminary he needed a job to provide for his growing family, as I was pregnant with our first child.  So he looked into job opportunities that would utilize the skills and talents he had prior going to seminary, which was web design.  He never imagined that he would utilize his web design skills since our plan is now to be missionaries in the Philippines, but in God's perfect timing and providence Allan is using his skills and talents to help Children's Hunger Fund feed hungry child and share the gospel.

God is teaching us so much through Allan's job.  Something that wasn't our plan, God has used to bless us physically and spiritually as we learn how to share the gospel in a very active and tangible way.

For those of you who might be interested in learning more about Children's Hunger Fund, here is a short video about a little girl, Madison, who got involved and used her skills to feed hungry children.

6th Anniversary Vacation

Allan and I just got back from a short vacation celebrating our 6 year anniversary.  The boys went to my in-laws for the long weekend and will return shortly.  As I unpack from our trip and plan for the week ahead, I thought I would take the opportunity to reflect a little from our trip.

Leading up to this trip Allan and I realized we were in danger of becoming more like roommates instead of spouses, companions and lovers.  I was amazed at how quickly after having kids marriage seems like it takes a lot more work than it did before.  Before kids I seemed to have enough hours in my day to have “me time” with enough left over to have “hubby time”.  But after kids most of my hours seemed to be filled with “kid time”, which at the end of my day I am tired and longing for a little “me time.”  The kids finally get to sleep and I have just a couple hours before I myself have to get to sleep.  So I race against the clock trying to get in my “me time” before my eyelids get to heavy.

And this is the cycle that slowly creped into our marriage.  I had no idea it was sneaking in because I was too busying trying to calculate and plan my “me time”.  And slowly Allan became my roommate.

So the timing of our vacation was a wonderful blessing!  Something Allan and I try to do each anniversary is have a S.W.O.T. analysis.  We sit down over a meal or coffee and evaluate the strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats to our marriage.  And then we make resolutions based on what we discuss.

One of my weaknesses and threats to our marriage is my influence on Allan during this support-raising phase of becoming a missionary.  I have been foolish and selfish, assuming that support raising was solely something Allan had to find time to do.  Sure I saw how I could help a little.  But overall I thought it was something he had to do. I was reflecting one day thinking “Gee it would be nice if Allan had someone to help him in his support raising process.”  Then shortly after that thought I picked up the book Helper by Design by Elyse Fitzpatrick.  I was humbled to realize “oh God already gave Allan a helper, it’s me!”

As I seek to be a better helper to my husband’s goals, desires, responsibilities and duties I realize that I have to put “Allan time” before “me time”.  And my desire for “me time” was really more of distortion of trying to seek refuge, rest, refreshment, and strength from my desires of this world.  Trying to be satisfied from things other than Christ, which is futile and toilsome.

So my resolutions are:

…learning to prioritize the important over the urgent

AND

…learning to submit my mind to Christ so that the “if only’s…” of yesterday and the “what if’s…” of tomorrow do not tempt my mind to wander from the blessings of today.

I do not know how these resolutions will play out.  But I am excited at what lies ahead.  I do know that the motivation to my resolutions lies within the pages of God’s Word and I plan to start my seeking there.

My Week of Singleness Comes to an End

As I type, only 1 ½ hours until Allan’s plane touches down at LAX. I am excited and eager to see him! After I pick up Allan, little sweet Jakob should be arriving home as well! I probably should be using this time to take a nap and rest up, but I am too excited right now. ☺ Plus I thought this is a good opportunity to post a recap on how my “week of singleness” was.

It would be nice to post pictures from my week, but Allan had our camera so you’ll just have to use your imagination. So what did I do? Well early in my week I went over to an old friend/co-worker’s place for a dinner party. It was very enjoyable to see her again and spend time playing games with her friends for the evening (she planned some really fun group games). Then, I went out for dinner and a movie with two of my dear friends. It was relaxing to have “girl time” together. Then I had breakfast with another dear friend, and also joined her to a summer book club chat about the book Counsel From the Cross by Elyze Fitzpatrick. Then I ran some errands and had lunch with my friend and her two young girls (ha ha… an got a small taste of what it will be like having two). Then I spent time with my sister in her classroom helping her prepare for her open house. Then I spent one day with two of wives who’s husbands were also serving in the Philippines with Allan. Then my mom helped me clean out the closet and reorganize it to get ready for Trevor. Then my dearest old friend came over for pizza, cookies, a chick flick, and a slumber party. Whew, that sounds like a lot when you see it all written out. And between those times I took naps and read books.

People would ask me if I missed my son. I did miss him, but at the same time I was enjoying my week. I wasn’t worried at all because he was with my in-laws and family. I know how much they love him, so I didn’t have to worry if he was being cared for. I was excited that he got the chance to spend the week with them. He is such a fun little guy that brings me so much joy that I wanted him to bring them joy too. Plus, he got to spend time with his 4 cousins as well.

When I was at my friend’s dinner part at the beginning of my “week of singleness” I realized that the whole atmosphere felt very single to me. I couldn’t quite figure out why. And at first I just thought that it was because there was an absence of talk and conversation about babies, children, discipline, diapers, spit up, naps, schedules, etc. And that was part of it. But as my week continued I realized also that the feeling of “singleness” was also the absence of distractions. My mind wasn’t half focused on the current task at hand, with the other half focused on Jakob’s schedule or the need to plan his next meal, wash his diaper, put him down for a nap, etc. I think my week of singleness showed me how much of a distraction it is to be married and have kids. I remember going to a retreat with Allan when we were dating or engaged. It was a singles retreat so the topic was about singleness and 1 Corinthians 7 and the advantages of singleness. I remember getting very upset at the speaker for saying that marriage was a distraction and if you stayed single you won’t be distracted. That made me mad, my faulty thinking didn’t know why anyone would get married then if it is just a distraction. But this week has helped clarify that retreat speaker’s point. Being a wife and mother is very distracting. My thoughts are constantly filled and consumed with tasks and responsibilities of motherhood. BUT this is not a bad thing. Before I equated distraction with bad and less righteousness. But this week has shown me that life is not about me. Sure I have responsibilities, but this week has shown me that God can take care and provide lovingly for Allan and Jakob should I die. These distractions are a privilege and a wonderful blessing of which God is using to teach me more about Him.

All of this has made me stop and take a step back and look at the big picture of my life. Part of the thing with distractions is that it is easy and a temptation to get focused and consumed with the daily circumstances, events, and responsibilities of life. So much so that my only concern and efforts is on the temporary things of life. But this week has reminded me of the big picture of life - the purpose of motherhood and my task at hand during this season of life. I was convicted that I haven’t been fearing God as I should. I have forgotten who He is and instead have been treating Him as though He was a fellow man, more of an equal, rather than my King and Sovereign Lord and Creator.

Another thing that I have read and been more aware of this week is God’s sovereignty over all details of life. His providence to orchestrate all efforts of man and events of life according to His will. And through His sovereignty He is good and wise. I have been living my life recently as though God may be in control but I was living in disbelief that He was good and wise in His providence. This week I was reminded how small I am compared to my God… and was reminded how loving, gentle, kind, wise and good He is in ALL of the details of my life. Jerry Bridges in his book Trusting God quoted a verse about how God’s ways are beyond our ability to trace them out. It reminded me of a maze when you try to trace your way out to get to the end. Eventually with enough effort you can figure out how it all works. But that is not necessarily the case with God. I have been frustrating myself by trying to trace out all of the “whys” for the different circumstances in my life. But this week I realize that I need to humble myself and trust my good and wise and loving God. I don’t need to know why or be able to trace out how all of the things in my life fit together. Instead I can rest in my good God.

Withdrawing from the challenge and going on a personal retreat

I am sure that there are tons of you unknown readers out there on the edge of your seat, waiting for me to blog about my experience with the flats hand washing cloth diaper challenge. But due to a change in circumstances I have to withdraw from the challenge.

Actually, for the week of the challenge I will be without a baby to diaper. So it makes it a little difficult to wash cloth diapers by hand if I have no dirty diapers to wash– right? Ha ha… so I am now off the hook… I mean withdrawing from the challenge. God’s ways and plans are always better than our plans anyways. During this week (when the challenge is happening) Jakob gets the opportunity to visit Allan’s side of the family. I am excited for him and for the family. I think this is a much better way to spend the week, rather than what I had planned. He doesn’t get to see them as much as either of us would like. So I am glad this has worked out.

So what will I do with Jakob gone all week? My husband told me to go on a personal retreat. Wives are called to submit, so I better listen to him on this. ☺ I already have my “week of singleness” planned. Hair styling on Monday. Nails on Tuesday. Lunch with the ladies on Wednesday…. just kidding. But I am looking forward to going on outings with only a purse in hand! So light and carefree! I do have several visits planned to see friends, of which I am looking forward to! And a few projects to get done around the house as well. Allan also said to take the time to rest and read a couple books. So on my list of reading this week is Trusting God by Jerry Bridges, and also Gospel Powered Parenting by Farley.

Allan will be in the Philippines this week, teaching a hermeneutics module in Davao City. If you want to know more about what Allan’s week looks like here is a link to Sean Ransom’s blog (the current missionary in the Philippines) and also Vincent Green’s blog (another missionary candidate like ourselves raising support). They have a little more details about the trip. Allan will be teaching alongside Sean and Vincent this week. We’ll blog more about Allan’s trip when he returns.

Jakob Adler Three Months!

Okay - here is Jakob at three months!



Opps! I startled him! :) Here's a better one a little closer up.

Jakob Adler One Month

Some of my friends have taken a picture of their child each month to show the progress of them growing. I like that idea, so I thought I'd do the same with Jakob. He turned 1 month yesterday so I took his picture with "Cam-e-o" his bear. We also have a picture of him and Cam-e-o a few days after he was born. You can see already that he is growing!

Jakob at 1 month:



Jakob a few days old:

The Birth of our son, Jakob Adler Luciano – and the lessons I’ve learned the first week

Jakob Adler Luciano was born January 26, 2010, at 3:40pm. He weighed 8 lbs. and 3.7 oz., measuring 22 in long. I had no idea what was in store for me. In the months preceding his birth I spent time and efforts in preparing my self for the labor and delivery of Jakob. I thought that would be my “big trial” – so I was quite surprised to see that the real trial for me came after the delivery.

I’ve heard about the sleepless nights, round the clock feedings, diaper changes on top of diaper changes, spit up, change of clothes, “post partum depression”, crying fussy baby, 6 week physical recovery, that comes with a newborn baby. But I didn’t give it much thought other than it might be a bit of a challenge. ☺

In preparation for the labor and delivery of Jakob I wrote down several Bible verses and quotes on index cards. My plan was that they would help me through the labor and delivery of Jakob. I had no idea that those verses and quotes I wrote down would actually encourage me more AFTER the delivery of Jakob. Of the those quotes was the following, “If I focus on myself, my pain, my circumstances then that will only lead to fear, anxiety and worry – creating a prison for myself in my mind. But if I focus on God and His character, goodness and mercy, then that is the key to free my mind.” That is soooo true!

No one will argue that caring for a new born baby is a trial, for even the world has a term for the despair and overwhelming feeling that can come during this time and lot in life - “post partum depression”. But the key to free my mind is to focus on God and His character. The thought and truth that has lifted my spirits and given me HOPE is that God has the power to change my mind. Ha ha this is great encouragement to a weary soul…. I don’t have to feel “trapped”! He has changed my mind and heart once before during my salvation and redemption of my soul, surely and truly He can and WILL change my heart and mind now. My Savior is not only merciful and good but He is POWERFUL to fulfill His promises to His children.

Why do I know this? Because Philippians 4:6-9, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. AND THE PEACE OF GOD, WHICH SURPASSES ALL UNDERSTANDING WILL GUARD YOUR HEATS AND MINDS IN CHRIST JESUS.” Look at the promise God has for me in His Word! My despair and overwhelming feeling of his new “lot in life” reveals my lack of faith in God’s promise and lack of faith in His power and ability to change my heart and mind. Surely my circumstances won’t change, Jakob will still cry, dirty his diapers, spit up, and need to be feed around the clock – but because of Jesus Christ and the redemption of my soul I will have peace and a gentle and quiet spirit.

Life's changing....

So life is changing for the Luciano Family. About two weeks ago I stopped working full time at Grace Community Church, in order to stay home and work full time as a wife and mother! The past two weeks have been a special time for Allan and I. We've had lots of time to spend together and talk and enjoy each other's company. We both realize that any day now are lives are about to drastically change with the birth of Baby Jakob. But until then, we are waiting and reflecting on life.

We both feel like it is the "calm before the storm" or like the slow big climb to the top of a roller coster and we are about to reach the big drop and go racing.... but we can't see exactly when the drop in the roller coster will come.

I am eager and excited to stay home. I have immensely enjoyed the 3 1/2 years of working at GCC and God used it in many ways to teach me great lessons, and also to provide for our family. But during the time my interests were divided between house and work. So I am very excited and eager not to have to battle with the split in interests and now can focus all on being a wife and mommy. My desire is to be a great helper for my husband and enable him to better focus on his goals because I can now be home to help manage the house.

One thing that these changes in life have made Allan reflect on more is what is our goal and aim in life? Change is good and enables you to stop and think "wait a second, what are we here for and what are we trying to accomplish?" When all of regular schedules and daily activities of life are stripped away - to start all over - it makes you reflect and contemplate why and what we are doing. It has revealed some wrong motives in both of us, and we are thankful for these past two weeks together to talk through this, pray and refocus on what truly matters in life. So often we get distracted with the circumstances of life, aiming for the blessing or outcome rather than aiming to please God and know Him more. Staying home being a full time wife and mother can quickly and easily being tempting to focus on the wrong thing again. It is not really about cooking dinner, or moping the floors or feeding the baby... but what is my focus while doing that? Am I merely focused on the circumstances and outcome... or am I looking at my heart to see how I can learn more about my Savior through these circumstances.

What we've been up too lately

It has been a few months since we've posted something on our blog, so I thought I would do a summary post overviewing the past few months.

Well, Allan graduated from seminary back in May.


Then we went to Yosemite with Tammy and Doug and friends - on their annual trip.

Spent some time with our family...

Moved from our dear home in Glendale...













And went on a "babymoon" to a B&B near the Sequoias.

Heeeeere's IMA!

We have a "working name" for our baby who is currently under construction in Sandi's womb: "Ima." THIS IS A WORKING NAME, NOT THE REAL NAME. Its pronounced just as it looks, "Ima" as in, "I'm a Luciano" :)

Anyway, here's what Ima looks like as of Wednesday, 7/15/2009. In the live video feed Ima was actually moving! In the picture you might be able to make out the head and the body. Ima's got a big head (as most babies do). In fact, the doctor told us that this would be the last time Ima's whole body would fit in one ultrasound screenshot. Next time, Ima's head will take up a whole screen while the body takes up another!

Well, without further ado, heeeeeere's Ima.....

The Best Graduation Gift!

Among the myriad of graduation gifts I recently received, none compare to the one that my wife gave me: about a week after I graduated from TMS, we found out that WE'RE PREGNANT!!!

Sandi's due on January 19, 2010. We don't know yet if we're going to have a boy or a girl.

As we started telling our family, a couple of reactions stand out...
Sandi's Mom: dropped the phone as she screamed
Allan's Mom: screamed out loud

:)

"Behold, children are a gift of the LORD, the fruit of the womb is a reward."
— Psalm 127:3

Sandi's 30!

So I turned 30 years old a little over a week ago. In passing along their birthday wishes, a lot of people asked me how I feel now that I am 30. Funny, when I was little my perspective on being 30 was living in an apartment and having a plant and a fish. When I thought about what I'd do when I was 30, pictured myself coming home from work while the sun was still up, watering my plant and feeding my fish before I sat down on my couch to relax. ha ha... what simplified thoughts I had about being 30.

But one thing turning 30 has done is make me think and approach life more purposeful. In Psalm 90 we are reminded that we are but dust and encouraged to number our days. Maybe it's turning 30, maybe it's Allan finishing up his seminary studies, maybe it's planning to move to the Philippines, or maybe it's working on my thesis for the MABC - but whatever it may be I am encouraged to number my days and to approach them with the purpose of glorifying my Lord and Savior.

How did I celebrate my birthday? Allan and I went to dinner with my sister and bro-in-law. It was simple and intimate and a sweet time just conversing together. I have a few pictures to share...(hhmm... still learning how to get the picture to show up at the right spot in my post). Then later in the week spent some time playing games with friends (eatting noddles for long life), and dinner with my family. Each time my birthday comes I end the day with "gee that was nice, it's fun to have a birthday".