How do I love thee? Let me count the ways….

“Sandi, I have the perfect guy for you!  I just have two questions for you…first, what do you think of guys who are not your race?  And two, what do you think of short guys?”

Those were the questions a good friend of mine asked me before she purposely tried to set up Allan and me.  I laugh when I recall that conversation because she thought she was being so sneaky but I knew exactly who she was referring to.  It’s funny to sit and reflect on the image of the guy I thought I was going to end up with and compare “him” to Allan.  That “guy” does not fit Allan’s description at all.  I guess I always imagined myself with a white guy, an “all-American” type guy, maybe he even plays baseball.  This “guy” has a wardrobe of jeans and tee-shirts and is very bad at fashion.  He is loud and goofy and always strives to be the center of the conversation and tells bad jokes which everyone laughs at anyways.  Obviously, Allan is none of those things and I was okay with that because I thought my list of expectations was merely external.  Needless to say I was quite surprised when we started dating and I came to realize what else I had valued on this “list” of expectations I previous created.

One of the things I remember most about our dating period was the adjustment of my expectations.  Ironically, to my surprise dating revealed how much I expected to be treated as a Disney Princess and to live out the storyline of a country love song.  So when I didn’t receive the attention and adoration I assumed I had the right to receive I got frustrated and angry and held Allan responsible.  Needless to say you can easily imagine how such an idol I constructed only set Allan up for failure.  But God used my failed idol of wanting to be treated like a Disney princess to make me stop and think as to what truly matters.

But now it is 8 years later and I am amazed and thankful that God gave me Allan in spite of myself!  In all accounts, he is not the husband I thought I wanted or needed, and God is so gracious to give us more than we can ask for.  A single friend of mine was recently asking me how I knew Allan was a godly man and how I knew what to look for.  She said most of her friends judge the worthiness of a potential husband by how he treats them, what he does for them in terms of actions and gifts.  But she said there must be more than that.  Her question made me think and reflect. 

When I boast about my husband it is not on the quantity of love letters he write me.  It is not on the variety of flowers he brings me.  It is not on the price and time he spends showering me with attention.  You see those were all of the things I thought I deserved in my Disney Princess fulfillment.  Instead when I reflect on my husband my heart swells with thankfulness and my tongue boasts of the Lord’s goodness that He gave me something so much better! 

Allan Luciano, how do I love thee?  Let me count the ways….

·      Grasp of the gospel – he has the greatest grasp on the gospel better than anyone I know.

·      Slow to speak – I wouldn’t describe my husband as “shy”, but rather quiet.  He is slow to speak and does not waste his words. 

·      Thinker – because he is slow to speak he thinks before he speaks. 

·      Humble – because of his grasp of the gospel, he understands his sinfulness better than anyone I know.  As a result he prefers others above himself.

·      Listener – being slow to speak and thinking before he speaks are two of the reasons he is a good listener.

·      Slow to anger – it takes a lot to get my husband angry.  It took me 3 years before I even noticed anger in him.  I believe it is his grasp of the gospel and his view of himself as a sinner that makes him slow to anger.

·      Teachable – because he views himself as a sinner in need of grace he is very teachable and soft to the Word of God.

·      Filipino – I love his shiny black hair, big dark eyes, and warm skin.  It is amazing how different it is from mine.  I love the differences our backgrounds bring to our marriage.

·      Values relations over time – I come from a very time orientated background, I love how his value of relationships balances out my value of the clock.

·      Leader – I love how he leads and shepherds me.  Submission is a joy and ease with Allan as my husband

·      Wise – I joke that 80% of the helpful and encouraging things I have to say are just things that Allan has first taught me.  I am constantly finding myself saying in conversations, “my husband said…”

I am so proud to be called Allan’s wife.  My heart swells just like a Disney Princess when I think and contemplate at the husband God has given me in Allan.  Allan isn’t exactly the cowboy of the country love song, but he has swept me off my feet and because of the godly man God has created in him, it makes me go running into his arms each night.

When the idol of ministry fails

It was the early hours of the morning, his alarm had gone off but he had not yet gotten out of bed to get ready for work.  I walked up to his side of the bed and work him up by telling him, “hey, I prayed for you this morning.”  His eyes not yet open, he turned over with a content smile on his face and said, “oh, thank you!”  But his smile quickly faded when I began to unload on him all of the frustrations, anger, anxiety, worries, fears and unmet expectations the fueled my prayer.  He sat up with a start when he realized my “prayer” was really a nagging, complaining wife in disguise.

This conversation occurred 2 to 3 years into our support raising process to become missionaries in the Philippines.  I can’t remember the exact numbers and stats, but after all of that time we had only about 10% of our monthly support raised.  We were both tired, frustrated and beginning to question if we should give up.  It was all too easy to compare ourselves to other missionaries and their numbers.  “So-and-so missionary raised all of their support in 1 year, oh and so did that other missionary…that must mean we are failures.”  Of course our lives and circumstances are very different than other missionaries, but all the same we’d compare and covet and wonder how our support raising stats reflected on our sanctification and holiness.  And such reflection and comparison only led us toward the spiral of despair.

But now, with only about a year’s time passing from that early morning conversation, our support levels are around 75%.  The most natural question to ask is “so, what changed?”  There have been a variety of small factors that have changed, but when it comes down to it my husband will tell you the biggest change was he repented from making ministry an idol, and then helped lead me in the correct thinking to have as his suitable helper.

Elyse Fitzpatrick, in her book Idols of the Heart, has this to say about idols:

“Idols aren’t just stone statues.  No, idols are the thoughts, desires, longings, and expectations that we worship in place of the true God.  Idols cause us to ignore the true God in search of what we think we need.” (page 23)

Idols are false gods, they are not real and they have no power to help us.  When our idols fail us that often leads us down a spiral of despair.  The result is often depression, frustration, anger and hopelessness.  The more my husband tried to please and honor the false god of ministry the more he failed. 

We thought we needed to have a certain personality in order to raise support.

We desired to raise support in a particular way, which would reflect on our righteousness.

We longed to be able to raise support in an exceptional manner, so that others would observe and praise “wow look at how the Lucianos did it!”.

We expected support raising to be easy because we were trusting in our strengths, personality and works.

But when it came down to it our strengths and personalities failed.  Not too long ago, my husband’s employer had all of it’s employees take a test to determine their strengths and abilities, to compare and analyze where they are best suited as employees.  The results of my husband’s test said, “whatever you do, don’t go into fundraising you are not suited for that line of work.”  Ha ha…. we both had a good laugh!  No wonder our stats in support raising are not impressive and nothing to boast about!

Once the idol of ministry was exposed my husband began to study the correct motivation for missions.  He’d used the opportunities that churches gave us to present our ministry to study a passage about the motivation of missions in order to change his own thinking.  The Word of God is powerful and able to change man.  My husband was reminded that God does not NEED us!  And that is exactly why his idol of ministry failed him.  We are merely redeemed sinners He uses to display His glory and power and grace. 

^“22 What if God, desiring to show his wrath and to make known his power, has endured with much patience vessels of wrath prepared for destruction, ²³ in order to make known the riches of his glory for vessels of mercy, which he has prepared beforehand for glory” (Romans 9:22-23)

Why would I take the time to explain how my husband repented?  Wouldn’t that reflect poorly on him? Aren’t I exposing his sinfulness?  Instead of boasting in his own ability, character and talent towards success in ministry he now boasts about God’s power, grace and mercy to lovingly forgive him, a sinner.  God was not obligated to change Allan’s thinking, but He did, and more than that He then calls him to service!  My husband’s motivation in missions has changed because he now can persevere during the hard times because of his knowledge of the Lord.  And it is exactly the humble leader God is using in my life, to show and demonstrate His grace to me!  I am the first hand, gracious recipient of God’s work in his life.  And because of that I am eager and willing to follow him across the globe.

Ordinary, Not Missionary

Just this week I was talking to my husband and I was telling him how I didn’t feel very “missionary”, but instead I felt very ordinary.  I am not sure exactly what image I have in my head when I think of a “missionary”, but it surely isn’t a self-portrait!  Ha ha…The picture in my mind is someone who is adventurous, loves learning new cultures, has a whole bookshelf devoted to missionary biographies, a self-starter, out-going, independent, doesn’t wear make-up, and has dreamt of missionary adventures for years.  None of which I would use to describe myself.

“ ‘Ordinary, not Missionary’ that would be a good title for a sermon,” Allan said as we continued to talk about this subject.  And then he made a comment that made my heart smile.  “I know I am not impressive and I am okay with that.  Actually I am glad I am not impressive because then I know that whatever good happens is the work of Christ in my life and not me.”  Do you ever have those moments when your husband says or does something that makes your heart swell with pride and reminds you how and why you feel in love?  Something that makes you feel like the luckiest girl in the world because a man like that chose you as his wife?  Well that statement was one of those moments for me.

I remember one of the earliest conversations Allan and I had, it was during the first few weeks of when we started dating.  We were sitting at a meal and asking each other questions, getting to know each other better.  One of my questions to him was “what were you like before you were saved?”  He didn’t have to think long to give his answer, he knew right away.  “Angry.  I was a very angry person.”

Really?  Out of all of the adjectives I would use to describe Allan, angry would never cross my mind.  It is actually the exact opposite of who I believe my husband to be.  He almost never takes anything personally.  When someone does directly criticize, confront or point out one of his failures he is the quickest to agree with them and thank them for revealing his shortcomings. Not because he lacks “self-esteem”, but rather because he understands the Gospel and the his need for a Savior.  He never boasts in his talents or gifts and if he is in a group of other men with the same gifts, he will always defer to them and take the backseat.  In other words he is a humble man.

I on the other hand take a lot of things personally.  I do not take critique humbly, and it almost always fuels my pride.  If I am in a group of ladies with similar talents and gifts as myself I will always hope they choose me because I want my own abilities to be highlighted and praised by others.

That is why my heart smiled and my chest swelled with pride when my husband made that statement that he knows he is not impressive.  It smiled because I know God is at work in his life.  It smiled because I know my husband is genuine and such a statement is not natural for man to say.  It smiled because I know that I have no ordinary husband.  No, my husband is far from ordinary.  He is a humble, gracious, long-suffering man who is the first to realize he is a sinner in need of grace.  And when he made that statement I was reminded why I am one of the luckiest women on earth!  Sure we may feel like a very ordinary couple, and we may not fit the “missionary” mold (whatever that really is)…but I am eager and excited to go through life as my husband’s wife because I know that God uses humble sinners.

“But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us.” (2 Corinthians 4:7)

"For consider your calling, brethren, that there were not many wise according to the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble; but God has chosen the foolish things of the world to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to shame the things which are strong, and the base things of the world and the despised God has chosen, the things that are not, so that He may nullify the things that are, so that no man may boast before God. But by His doing you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, and righteousness and sanctification, and redemption, so that, just as it is written, “Let him who boasts, boast in the Lord.” (1 Corinthians 1:26-31)

My Pursuit of Joy

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My younger son, Trevor, just recently turned 1.  So I began weaning him from nursing to regular milk.  The process was relatively easy and pain free.  Trevor was quite happy to drink his milk from a sippy cup and didn’t complain one bit!  So in a matter of a few weeks or so he was weaned.  Just as planned.  What I didn’t plan was the emotional changes I would experience.

First were the outbursts of anger.  Then tears.  And finally the overwhelming and seemingly unexplainable feelings of depression.  I did not make the connection between my heightened emotions and the adjustment of my hormones from weaning my son, that is not until someone mentioned it to me.

Adjusting hormones is NOT an excuse to sin, nor does it justify my wrong behavior.  But it does offer some explanation as to why the battle in my mind to think on truth has been more difficult lately.  You would think that the connection would ease my mind a little, offering one reason why I am not completely crazy.  Instead it did the opposite, I was even more sad and introspective as I realized,

“I struggle with depression.”

I heard a recent quote from Martin Luther which says, “Sin is man curved in on self.”  And that is exactly where I was, curved in on myself.  Several thoughts filtered through my mind.  I questioned God’s sovereign plan to allow this struggle.  I questioned God’s goodness to orchestrate these events and timing in my life.  As I began to question God something began to occur, I began to get restless.  The restlessness turned to discontentness over the roles and relationships in my life.  Discontentness grew to envy, covetness, and greed thinking I was all sovereign and knew what was best for my life.

After a couple weeks of this thought pattern I grew tired and exhausted.  I was tired of myself and disgusted with my own mind.  As I began more acquainted and aware of each aspect and nuance of my sin it made me more restless.  Then my loving husband reminded me:

“Hope (and joy) can only be found outside of you... if you only look inward, you'll be more and more depressed (and that's a general truth because of our fallen condition -- this isn't just limited to hormones)."

If all sin is ultimately a battle in our mind, I am eager to engage in that battle with my Sword of the Spirit by the enablement of the promises of God.  Okay, so I might struggle with depression more than most people but who says I am all knowing to say that is not for my ultimate good?  With repentance, God can and will use all of these things to shape and mold me more into Christ’s image.  Being fully acquainted with my own sin will NOT give any one else hope.  But being fully acquainted with my Savior will!

My pursuit of joy is basically my pursuit of Christ.  I tend towards introspection, wanting to fully understand the working of my sin, and before I know it I am turned in on myself and depressed at what I see!  Instead I want to be turned in on Christ. – embracing with full trust who He is, so that in turn I will experience joy and rest.

No one changes in the abstract, but only in the concrete.  So here is my first step towards my pursuit of joy, acknowledging gratitude towards God’s blessings in my life, and foremost is my husband Allan.

I am thankful for a husband who cares for my inner soul, putting aside his agenda and desires for the day when he sees that my mind has been turned in on self and captured by hoplessness.  He freely and regularly gives himself up to remind me of my hope and rest in our Savior.  The Lord’s work in my husband’s life is my husband’s most attractive quality.  He understands the gospel better than anyone I know and he is the most humble and kindness person I know never expecting to be served or praised.  He understands the entanglements and allurements of my heart and the ugliness of my sin does not make him weary because he is grounded in the gospel.  I am truly a blessed woman!  

I hope to use my blog more to record God's work and blessings in my life, to concretely acknowledge the greatness of my God and Savior.  The allurements of the world may tug at my soul, telling me that my marriage does not mirror the romantic butterflies of novels and big screens, thus breeding discontentness and envy.  But when I look outside of myself and ground my soul in the Word (by help and reminder from my loving husband) I know I have been immensely blessed by the marriage to the wonderful man, Allan Luciano!

6th Anniversary Vacation

Allan and I just got back from a short vacation celebrating our 6 year anniversary.  The boys went to my in-laws for the long weekend and will return shortly.  As I unpack from our trip and plan for the week ahead, I thought I would take the opportunity to reflect a little from our trip.

Leading up to this trip Allan and I realized we were in danger of becoming more like roommates instead of spouses, companions and lovers.  I was amazed at how quickly after having kids marriage seems like it takes a lot more work than it did before.  Before kids I seemed to have enough hours in my day to have “me time” with enough left over to have “hubby time”.  But after kids most of my hours seemed to be filled with “kid time”, which at the end of my day I am tired and longing for a little “me time.”  The kids finally get to sleep and I have just a couple hours before I myself have to get to sleep.  So I race against the clock trying to get in my “me time” before my eyelids get to heavy.

And this is the cycle that slowly creped into our marriage.  I had no idea it was sneaking in because I was too busying trying to calculate and plan my “me time”.  And slowly Allan became my roommate.

So the timing of our vacation was a wonderful blessing!  Something Allan and I try to do each anniversary is have a S.W.O.T. analysis.  We sit down over a meal or coffee and evaluate the strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats to our marriage.  And then we make resolutions based on what we discuss.

One of my weaknesses and threats to our marriage is my influence on Allan during this support-raising phase of becoming a missionary.  I have been foolish and selfish, assuming that support raising was solely something Allan had to find time to do.  Sure I saw how I could help a little.  But overall I thought it was something he had to do. I was reflecting one day thinking “Gee it would be nice if Allan had someone to help him in his support raising process.”  Then shortly after that thought I picked up the book Helper by Design by Elyse Fitzpatrick.  I was humbled to realize “oh God already gave Allan a helper, it’s me!”

As I seek to be a better helper to my husband’s goals, desires, responsibilities and duties I realize that I have to put “Allan time” before “me time”.  And my desire for “me time” was really more of distortion of trying to seek refuge, rest, refreshment, and strength from my desires of this world.  Trying to be satisfied from things other than Christ, which is futile and toilsome.

So my resolutions are:

…learning to prioritize the important over the urgent

AND

…learning to submit my mind to Christ so that the “if only’s…” of yesterday and the “what if’s…” of tomorrow do not tempt my mind to wander from the blessings of today.

I do not know how these resolutions will play out.  But I am excited at what lies ahead.  I do know that the motivation to my resolutions lies within the pages of God’s Word and I plan to start my seeking there.

My Umbrella of Protection

So I am just about a month away from the due date of my second son, Trevor Nathan. As I approach the birth of our second son it has caused me to prepare again for the birth process. And as I have begun to again prepare, it has caused me to be thankful for God’s design of a husband and wife, specifically the submission of a wife to her husband. Let me explain.

With the birth of our first son, Jakob, I was terrified of the actual birth process. Birth stories of others and the anticipation of pain caused great fear and anxiety in me. And how does my little heart and flesh try to cope with fear? By seeking to control as much of the circumstances as I can. And that is exactly what I sought out to do. I read books about childbirth, took classes about childbirth, met with experts about childbirth, and practiced positions and exercises for childbirth. I did all that was in me to seek to control the situation as much as possible. I made a birth plan and it had 12 points. I had my doctor sign my plan and I kept two copies with me to give to the hospital and nurses once I arrived. Part of what I learned in all my studies was that if it was possible, it was advantageous to have the least amount interventions if one wanted to avoid the most risks and complications. So in my desperation of control (to ease my fears and anxieties) I took that to mean “drugs and interventions are bad and reveal weakness.” To sum up a long story, at the end of Jakob’s birth 10 out of my 12 preferences in my birth plan went exactly opposite as I wanted and I ended up getting an epidural. I was unable to control my birth experience and as a result despair, frustration and sorrow resulted. I was jealous of others who were able to have the birth plan that I wanted, envious and assuming that they were better than me for being able to give birth naturally. I had lost sight of what was important. I lacked thankfulness for the healthy birth of my son. I lacked joy.

So as I think back on the birth of my son, what comes to mind is the emotional pain I experienced and my lack of thanksgiving and joy. So as the due date of Trevor approaches it makes me want to do things differently. I still see the benefits of having the least amount of interventions, and thus going as natural as possible, so I again want to try for that. So I was talking with Allan about whom to have in the hospital room to help assist me during labor. When we were having this conversation he said, “You know, the conviction to avoid epidurals is your conviction not mine. I am supporting you in this because I am preferring you, but it is not my conviction.” As we continued to have this conversation I learned that Allan recognizes the benefits of avoiding intervention and going natural, but he also knows and understands me. He knows how my heart can get consumed and tied up when I have a strong conviction that a certain thing is right. He sees how I put unnecessary pressure on myself to live up to a standard or conviction that I have set (that is a mere preference and not a biblical standard or command).

As I reflected on this conversation that Allan and I had it made me realize how much my husband understood me, my desires, wants, and sin tendencies. Although he saw the physical benefits of going drug free, when he compared that to the spiritual and emotional results that I would be tempted with, he didn’t have the same convictions as me. Then it dawned on me, although I am giving birth it is for the birth of OUR son, mine and Allan’s. Allan has been preferring me the whole time, and I was so consumed with what I wanted and what my plans were that I didn’t even stop to consider what Allan thought or wanted.

This is where the umbrella of protection comes in. When I took a marriage and family class in my biblical counseling training, the professor gave the illustration that God’s design for a wife to submit to her husband is because that is how He protects the wife. God gives this command to wives with full knowledge and understanding that husbands are human and thus sinful. Husbands will not always make the best decisions, they will sin and fail. They are not infallible. But nonetheless we are called to submit to them, and if we do then God will honor and bless us. Scripture is clear of submission and God’s design of it. When I apply God’s design and command of submission to the birth of our second son, it gives me wonderful peace and relieves many fears and anxieties. God does not have commands as to how one should give birth. Sure there is wisdom you can consider as you prepare. But the actual process and circumstances of giving birth are neutral, they are really neither sinful or honorable. BUT… God is very clear about submission. When I realized this, it caused me to gives thanks and rejoice for God’s protection of me through submitting to Allan. Allan knows my struggles, my sin tendencies and how my flesh can react. Allan cares for my walk with the Lord and desires foremost for me to walk with the Lord. Peace has come when I rest in God’s plan and purpose of submission. Peace comes because I no longer have to wonder which birth plan is the “best”. I no longer have to try to gain approval from God through following certain techniques in the labor process. Because Scripture is clear; honor, respect and submit to your husband. It is very easy to submit to a husband who knows and understands you better than you do yourself. The birth of Trevor just got a whole lot less complicated and I have more peace. And I think the result will be joy and thanksgiving after Trevor arrives rather than despair and frustration.

Withdrawing from the challenge and going on a personal retreat

I am sure that there are tons of you unknown readers out there on the edge of your seat, waiting for me to blog about my experience with the flats hand washing cloth diaper challenge. But due to a change in circumstances I have to withdraw from the challenge.

Actually, for the week of the challenge I will be without a baby to diaper. So it makes it a little difficult to wash cloth diapers by hand if I have no dirty diapers to wash– right? Ha ha… so I am now off the hook… I mean withdrawing from the challenge. God’s ways and plans are always better than our plans anyways. During this week (when the challenge is happening) Jakob gets the opportunity to visit Allan’s side of the family. I am excited for him and for the family. I think this is a much better way to spend the week, rather than what I had planned. He doesn’t get to see them as much as either of us would like. So I am glad this has worked out.

So what will I do with Jakob gone all week? My husband told me to go on a personal retreat. Wives are called to submit, so I better listen to him on this. ☺ I already have my “week of singleness” planned. Hair styling on Monday. Nails on Tuesday. Lunch with the ladies on Wednesday…. just kidding. But I am looking forward to going on outings with only a purse in hand! So light and carefree! I do have several visits planned to see friends, of which I am looking forward to! And a few projects to get done around the house as well. Allan also said to take the time to rest and read a couple books. So on my list of reading this week is Trusting God by Jerry Bridges, and also Gospel Powered Parenting by Farley.

Allan will be in the Philippines this week, teaching a hermeneutics module in Davao City. If you want to know more about what Allan’s week looks like here is a link to Sean Ransom’s blog (the current missionary in the Philippines) and also Vincent Green’s blog (another missionary candidate like ourselves raising support). They have a little more details about the trip. Allan will be teaching alongside Sean and Vincent this week. We’ll blog more about Allan’s trip when he returns.

What I love about Allan Luciano

Happy 4th Anniversary Allan! Here are just a handful of things I love about you!

1. How clearly and simply you understand the Gospel
2. Your dark black shiny hair
3. That your eyes are so dark it is hard to see where your pupil starts, making your eyes so dark and mysterious
4. How well your skin tone matches your hair and eyes
5. The little giddiness that you get in your eyes when you see a robot
6. How the kid in you comes out when you encounter a Transformer or a familiar comic stripe story
7. Your love for a wide variety of food
8. Your enjoyment playing “attack of the killer baby” with Jakob
9. How you hold Jakob during church service so that I can sit and listen to the sermon
10. That you are a “thinker” and often need to walk around the house in order to think better
11. That you enjoy sitting and watching “What not to wear with me”
12. Your belief that the “ ‘A’ maker” will actually work one day
13. Your well trained and sensitive pallet towards a good cup of coffee
14. Your humility
15. How you often prefer other men in leadership over yourself because you are more aware of your own inadequacies rather than theirs
16. Your wisdom to not take me ice skating for our first date ☺
17. Napping with you on a Sunday afternoon with the mourning dove cooing in the background
18. Your notice and appreciation for details
19. Your love for books more than computers
20. Discovering Glendale together on many many walks around the neighborhood of our first home
21. The little bounce in your step you had when you would walk up to see me at my desk at work
22. The thoughts and plans you put into planning special outing for the two of us
23. That you can’t teach well unless the material has first impacted your own heart
24. How patient you are with me when I cry or get stressed out
25. How well you understand me (foresight in what will stress me out)– almost more than I understand myself
26. How sacrificially you served me the first few weeks after Jakob was born
27. How you discover new ways to make Jakob laugh – like running down the hill with him in the baby bjorn
28. That you prefer people and relationships over time and schedules
29. How easy going you are and able to sound down and relax
30. Your ability to watch hours of the Food Network
31. How you eat and enjoy some weird things but don’t even flinch or show in the slightest that others might think it is weird.
32. Cheering together when we watch a tv show that we both like
33. Waking up and having a special breakfast together when life outside is still quiet and still and just talking about lives for hours
34. That you like my friends just as much as I like them
35. How you are a man of few words and choose them carefully

My husband and seminary life...

Today is Allan's birthday! Happy Birthday Sweetie! Milestones like birthdays often make you stop and reflect. Today I am reflecting on Allan's seminary "career" these past 5 years. In just a few short weeks Allan will be graduating from The Master's Seminary with a Master's of Divinity degree. Allan and mine relationship closely follows his time in seminary.



We started meet and started dating the first semester he was enrolled in seminary. We dated and were engaged for the next two years, spending many weeknights together in the library studying. Memories of dating filter back to study breaks and dinner in the seminary lounge, or coffee and reading, or coffee and reading, and coffee... did I mention coffee? :o)



Then we got married and spent the last 3 seminary years as husband and wife. Carpooling together everyday, having lunch together between his classes, packing 4 meals in the morning to have enough for lunch and dinner in order to stay late and study in the library together.

And now ... numerous coffee dates, several Vietnamese iced coffee, 4 french presses, 1 drip coffee maker, 1 stove top espresso maker, 1 Armenian coffee pot, and 1 memorable monkey poo coffee experience later we are approach the end of seminary for Allan. I am thankful and blessed to be able to share in Allan's path during his time in seminary. It has given me greater understanding of the time and effort he needed to put into studying. It has impassioned my heart to be a suitable helper to him as he prepares for ministry. It has caused me to share in his joy, his sorrow, his burden, and his passion. I am truly thankful to be here with him the whole time - as he finishes to graduate ...my heart is being finished to stand besides him in future ministry when he puts to practice all that he has been entrusted and learned during his time in seminary.