To learn a culture, learn the language: relationships

Since I have been taking Tagalog language classes for just about two months now, I thought it would be a good time to do a blog post about my experience thus far.  Initially I figured it would be pretty straight forward, but it has proven more difficult than I expected. Why?  Well, mainly because I am not quite sure how to organize all my thoughts on the matter.  So to help remind me of my purpose and goal in learning Tagalog I have decided to blog about my efforts in the context of culture.  Specifically, blogging about the aspects of the culture I learn through studying the Tagalog language.  And one of the first things I learned about the culture was relationships.

Relationships.  When I realized I wanted to write about relationships it actually got me excited!  Remember those other posts I recently started in the series attributes I admire from the Filipino culture?  Well one of the things I have always admired and wanted to write about (but never got around to it yet) was the warmth of people.  I never wrote about it because I couldn't quite figure out or explain what it was that made the people warm.  But my language classes these last two months has shown me how some of the warmth is communicated.

The warmth of the people was actually one of the things that calmed my heart when I would get anxious in anticipation of moving to another country.  I wasn't exactly willing to move to any country with my husband.  But I could follow him to the Philippines.  Why?  Because my interaction and friendship with Filipinos back in the States were some the warmest and friendliest relationships.  And if I had to move to another part of the globe and live among strangers, there was comfort that I was going to live among friendly and warm people!  Plus, its one of the attributes that I hope will rub off on me the most.

Okay, ready?  Let's go to class!  "Punta tayo sa clase!"

Lesson 1 - Kami or Tayo?

One of the islands that Allan has had the privledge to teach at is Boracay.  If you are Filipino or have an understanding of some of the various islands here, an image probably quickly pops into your mind and a mood washes over your body.  "ooooh!!!  Boracay!"  In case you still don't understand, I just googled the word "Boracay" and here is the first picture that came up in my search.

Well the other month, I had just put the kids to bed and I came to join Allan on the couch.  He was working on his computer.  I asked him, "hey, what are you doing?"  To which he replied, "just finished buying tickets."  Tickets? I wondered, so I asked him, "where to?"  And he replied so non-chaulantly, "oh Boracay, we're going to Boracay next week."  Oh my eyes got real wide and I sat straight up, grabbed his shoulders and exclaimed, "We are!?!"  To which he quickly popped my bubble and said "We kami.  Not we tayo."

One nuance and variation Tagalog has from English is their pronoun "we".  Basically, they have two words for "we".   "We - Kami" which excludes the hearer from the action, versus "We - Tayo" which includes the hearer from the action.

Lesson 2 - Get Out of Our House!

Imagine a typical American household setting.  Dad is in the kitchen with his rebellious teenage son.  He is mad and fed up at the disobedience of his son so he yells, "Get out of MY house!"  My language tutor actually used such an illustration in one of my tutor sessions to explain that in Tagalog when you refer to your house you never use the first person singular pronoun, instead you always use equivalent of the first person plural pronoun.  The house, even if Daddy pays all of the bills, is never referred to as "my house" but instead always "our house". 

Lesson 3 - Do not say, "Hi, how are ya?"

One of the first phrases I ever learned was "kumusta ka?"  Which means "How are you?"  And sure enough that phrase came up in the first lesson in my language class.  But as soon as it came up my tutor qualified when and how to use it.  Here is what my Tagalog book says about the phrase, "kumusta ka":

This phrase is not used as commonly as English speakers would use "how are you?"  You would not say "kumusta ka?" to someone you see every day.  You would use it when meeting someone for the first time or when you meet a friend not seeing him for some time.

 Okay.  So what do you say?

Actually, Filipinos do not use verbal greetings very much with those they see almost every day.  A smile and a pleasant expression is the greeting, perhaps also calling out the person's name; other than that one goes directly into small talk, usually picking up on whatever they last were discussing with the other person.


My tutor explained that I would sound cold and distant if I over used "kumusta ka" in the same way I use "How are you?" in English.  Instead by going directly into small talk you show that you have accepted that person into your "circle", so to speak.  So I started to observe and I noticed that by not saying "hi how are you?" I was forced to observe, think and say something specific and personal to the person I was addressing.  This takes a lot more work but sure communicates more warmth.

Let's Review...

Okay class, so what did we learn from these three lessons today?  The use of deliberating including the hearer of the conversation into my speech it communicates warmth and a circle of friendship.  And how I greet another person reveals that I have to be intentional, observant and personal.

Studying Tagalog these past two months has revealed a lot of my fears.  I knew learning a language was going to be hard but I assumed it was going to be hard because it would take a lot of time and effort memorizing vocabulary.  What I didn't realize was that it was going to be hard learning how to think and view life differently.  So I might not be able to impress you yet with my amazing ability to to carry on a conversation, but I have learned a very valuable lesson!

Don't forget to come to our next class where we learn how the language gives insight into the history of a culture!

It's More Fun in the Philippines

They say if you say something long enough you might start believing it, right?  Isn't that a basic principle of hypnosis and the goal of any good marketing company?  Well the slogan for the Department of Tourism (DOT) here in the Philippines is, "It's More Fun in the Philippines!"

At first when I saw this slogan I didn't think anything more of it than just an ad campaign.  But then slowly as I started to observe more about life I really began to think to myself, "wow it really is more fun in the Philippines!"  The DOT will show you pictures of all of the tourist destinations and try to lure you with beautiful white sand beaches.  But I wanted to show you how regular every day living is.... more fun in the Philippines!

Traffic is more fun in the Philippines.

A lot of people will comment about the traffic here in Manila.  And its true, with 12 million people living in one city, traffic will be inevitable.  But bumper to bumper traffic is pretty much the same no matter where you are.  You are stuck with no where to go.  But I will argue that if I have to be stuck in bumper to bumper traffic I would rather be here in the Philippines.

Okay so its 4pm on a Friday afternoon and you are traveling from Santa Monica, over the Supulveda pass, to the San Fernando Valley and you are stuck in traffic.  Haven't you always wished you could drive on the shoulder of the road, make your own lane, or even drive in an empty lane on the counter flow of traffic?

Or what parents don't dread being stuck in traffic when they have their kids with them?  Wouldn't it be great that while stuck in traffic with your kids that their favorite cartoon character popped up out of nowhere, just for them?  I think Jeepneys are great for moms stuck in traffic with their kids.  Jeepneys are one of the most popular forms of public transportation here in the Philippines.   They were originally made from left over US military jeeps from WW2.  Their brightly decorated exteriors is one thing that makes them so widely known.  Jeepneys are like snowflakes, no two are exactly the same.  They come in all colors and designs.

I am particularly thankful for the jeepneys with superheroes, race cars, robots, dinosaurs, dragons and Power Rangers painted on the side.  They always get a round of loud cheers from my boys in the back seat.

Pop Quiz!

Q: What does September 1st in the Philippines and the day after Thanksgiving in the States have in common?

A:  It is the unwritten rule of when retail stores are allowed to play Christmas music!

Just this week I was grocery shopping when I realized that the store was playing a Christmas song.  Not just one song, but all the songs were Christmas songs.  So I went home and dressed my son in his Christmas outfit.

Singing is more fun in the Philippines.

Before moving here I had heard that karaoke is popular here in the Philippines.  What I didn't expect was all the singing.  I have witnessed a husband pushing the cart for his wife in the grocery store, singing out loud down the aisles.  I have struggled to order a glass of tea because the large group of teenagers are singing in unison over in the corner.   And in the malls where you can buy karaoke music they will often have an employee, who's job it is to perform karaoke to catch your attention.

Or how about those dance games in arcades in the malls?  The ones where you put your coins in and follow the moves of the people on the screen?  I rarely pass one in the mall that isn't in use...usually dancing performed by somebody coming home from school or work (as they are still in their uniforms).  They put all effort and heart into it too, you can tell because they are good dancers!

But singing here is so common that people will sometimes name their business after their favorite song.  I was telling my friend about this and she said, "how fun!  It is sort of like 'hidden Mickey's' in Disneyland.  They are scatter all over the city and you have to discover them!"  I have found only a couple so far.  Here is one.

"People are people
so why should it be..."

Or how about the mechanic who named his shop, "Good Vibrations"?  And while we are on the topic of names for businesses, another trend I have noticed is using a play-on-words for the name of your business.  Shampooch.  InfiniTEA.  And my favorite, "RePhil"

Time will fail me if I tried to recount and capture all of the ways I have noticed that it is more fun in the Philippines.  I cannot stay in my seat when God's awesome and magnicifant power is displayed in a heavy rainstorm.  The rain is so loud it makes me run to the window, look out and say "Wow!"  And the variety of new fruits is exciting, fun and delicious!

And several of the restaurants I am familiar with from the States are more fun here.  At Starbucks you can order a french press.

And at Wendy's you can order ice cream floats and get mini snack combo meals of a frosty and french fries.  Haven't we all been dipping our fries in our shakes anyways, why not pair them up?

Even dropping my boys off at school is fun because of the "free range" chickens that roam the streets in the neighborhood.  They love parking right at the corner because then the boys can say hello to all the chickens each day that are roaming free.

So they got me.  It is no longer a campaign.  I am a believer.

"...Now I'm a believer
Not a trace
Of doubt in my mind
I'm in love
I'm a believer
I couldn't leave here
If I tried..."

Hospitable

My second post in the short blog series on attributes I admire in Filipinos is hospitality.  This is an attribute I first notice in my husband's family.  They would often go out of their way to do things to serve me and my husband.  To me it was amazing and shocking!  So I would say, "Allan why do they do that?"  To which he would reply, "oh that's just what they do, its normal."  And I would reply with a giggle, "ah, no its not, that is not normal"  But it was exactly this attribute (that my husband called "normal") that made it a little easier to board that plane, move here and live among them.
 
I was trying to decide what to call this attribute.  At first I thought "service".  But that word has a sense of coldness to it, a motivation of duty.  And this attribute I admire has a warmth to it.  So I have decided to call it "hospitality".

HOSPITABLE - receiving or treating guests or strangers warmly and generously; characterized by or betokening warmth and generosity towards guests or strangers

How do you capture hospitality in a picture?  It was a little tricky so the pictures I have are a bit limited, but I think they are sufficient to highlight this attribute I admire so much.

Customer service looks different here than in the States.  Partly I believe its because they value hospitality so much and it comes through in all areas of their lives.  Take McDonald's as an example.  In the States you order your food and stand to the side as they fill your order.  When they are done they shout out your order for you to come and get it.  Here you go and sit down and then bring it to you.  And do they give you a number?  No.  Instead this McDonald's writes down a description of you so that they can find you and bring it to your table.  I guess this day I was wearing a blue blouse and was holding my baby.  

When Allan and I went to the movies we decided to order some snacks before the movie started.  The man at the food court asked us if we wanted him to bring us our food to our seats inside the theatre.  Even Allan was shocked at this one.  We said sure!  So we went in and took our seats and he came in later and brought us our order.  I pulled out my camera and took a quick picture of him walking away, just for this blog post.  :)

Since we are on the topic of food how about we talk about delivery?  You can get all sorts of things delivered to your house.  Meat, milk, drinking water, gas for the stove, even McDonald's!  Actually several fast food chains deliver.  How do they do it through the heavy traffic and crazy rain?  They use motorcycles and wear a rain poncho.  One delivery guy had his motorcycle break down 1/2 mile from our house.  So he walked the rest of the way to our house, in the rain, to deliver our pizza.  Here is a picture of one motorcycle used to deliver pizza.

The other day Allan and I were out running errands.  We decided to stop for a quick lunch on our way back.  I thought we stopped at a simple Chinese food restaurant.  But I was stunned when they had guards meet me at my door and cover me with an umbrella to block the sun.  If there was a man and woman they would offer the service to the woman.  I felt like a royal princess and couldn't help but smile all the way to the door.

Another attribute I admire is their high regard to the elderly.  It comes through in their hospitality.  Here if you are eldery, disabled or pregant you get your own lane in the supermarket.  And they have chairs for your to sit in while you wait.

It is not just in food service that hospitality is seen.  The other day Allan and I were visiting a church.  Trevor was particularly fussy that day so Allan was standing in the back with him.  Allan didn't have to stand long before someone came up to him and brought him a chair.

Shortly after that they came up to me and asked if I wanted to go in the back room (which was air conditioned and the main sanctuary wasn't) to be more comfortable with my baby.  

The other week my son wet his pants at school.  They changed his pants with the spare shorts I packed previously.  But they didn't send home the dirty shorts with him.  The next day I asked the teacher for his soiled pants.  She said she took it home to wash it before returning it to me!

As I mentioned in an earlier post, the hot and humid weather here makes living a bit more uncomfortable.  Don't have a car, so how about instead of walking you take a pedicab (a bicycle with a side car) instead?  They will almost always make sure to have an umbrella to give you shade.

My absolute favorite people to tip are those to walk into traffic and stop the cars so you can back out.  Traffic here is heavy and congested and not as organized as in the States.  This can make a simple turn from a parking lot to a busy street quite stressful.  I often think, "oh yikes, can somebody please help me?"  To which some stranger quickly appears.... walks into the middle of traffic...stops the traffic and guides you out.  I am always happy to tip those people.

I hope this simple post has given you a small glimpse into the Filipino culture.  So if you ever have the opportunity and privledge to visit us here in the Philippines you will see that the slogans of one of the largest shopping malls, SM, is true they are always...

"Happy to Serve!"

Resourceful

As I slowly get to know the culture here in the Philippines I have noticed that there are several traits and characteristics that can generally describe most Filipinos.  Of course with all generalizations these traits won't and can't apply to everybody in every situation.  (And as a good American I was taught it is not nice to make generalizations about other cultures.)  But as a whole these characteristics have stood out to me because they are characteristics I admire.  Characteristics that I hope affect me as I person the longer I live here among them.  So I thought I would start doing a series of posts on my blog describing the Filipino traits I admired.

Resourceful - (adv.)

Able to act effectively or imaginatively,  

especially in difficult situations.

Something I noticed almost immediately after arriving here is that back home I had an abundance and was quite wasteful a lot of the time.  One morning shortly after our arrival, we were served pancakes.  There were 4 of us eating and 4 pancakes were served.  My immediate thought was, "what only 4?".  But it was enough and we were all satisfied.  See back home I liked to make enough pancakes to have extras, put them in the ref (aka "fridge") and let them sit for two weeks, where I would then throw them away because they were no longer good to eat. ha ha.... there was some sort of security in knowing I had more than enough.  Back home, like most moms, I spent time trying to cut coupons and save money in the grocery area of our budget.  I read blogs and collected tips.  But in the end I realized my biggest problem in this area was my wastefulness, I needed to be more resourceful with my ingredients.

The more I observed the people here the more it became obvious to me that they are very resourceful people.  So I started looking for ways to capture their resourcefulness in pictures.  In the kitchen is just one area which reflects their resourcefulness.  Let's look at a few of their popular dishes.

One dish is garlic fried rice.  Breakfast is a common meal to have this dish.  Why?  Because they had steamed rice the night before with dinner and they need to use up the leftover rice.  The leftover rice is drier now since it sat out all night, which is perfect consistency for making fried rice!  

  

Another common dish is adobo. It is a sauce that consists of vinegar and soy sauce.  Vinegar helps preserve food longer.  The other week when the power went out and we had to eat up the food in our ref before it all went bad.... our friend said "let's make adobo with the chicken because the vinegar will help preserve the chicken since we don't have power." Brilliant idea!

 

I have noticed that there are several vegetable dishes that have meat in them.  It struck me as odd because I always thought meat was the main dish and veggies were, well just veggies.  At first it seemed more labor intensive and wasteful to cook up just a little meat to go with your veggie dish.  But then I realized the meat for the dish is often the leftover meat from a previous meal.  You have to use it up so it doesn't go to waste.  So what do you do with a little leftover meat?  Toss it in your veggies! Gives the veggies good flavor too!

When going out to eat should an over abundance of napkins be placed on every table?  How about give each customer just one each and then provide an sink in the back corner as the washing station so customers can simply just wash their hands afterwards instead?

 And when they realized that plastic grocery bags were clogging the drain during floods, what alternative did they imagine up?  Reusing the packing boxes they receive shipment in as packing for the customers!

They are even resourceful and thoughtful in the way they packed my soda.  Look a helpful carrying handle.

And what about those paper bags that might rip because the items inside are too heavy?  Double bag it?  Hindi ho. No, instead let's use a piece of cardboard as reinforcement on the bottom.

I even noticed their resourcefulness in their driving.  ha ha... Driving in the Philippines is another post completely.  But for now I just want to point out the resourcefulness aspect.  With heavy traffic that is almost always congested, they took out most of the left turns and instead put in a lot of "U-turn slots" in their place to help keep traffic flowing.

And this intersection is one of Allan and my favorites.  It is hard to capture in pictures.  But on one side you have three lanes.  On the other side you have two lanes.  Which of those three lanes is missing on the other side?  The middle lane.  So if you are driving in the middle lane you must be "resourceful" and imaginative in your driving.  We actually like picking the middle lane because it gives us more choices.

And if you are driving a motorcycle in the tight congested traffic, where weaving in and out of traffic is not even possible, what do you do?  Just get a little imaginative and drive on the sidewalk!

Portion size is another noticeable difference.  When we needed to buy some motion sickness meds how many do you think they gave us?  Just enough because you can buy most medicine here by the pill, not by the jar.  Why buy and extra large size jar when you only need a couple pills?  Only to have the jar go unused or even go bad from possible damage from the high humidity.

Lets see how well you have been paying attention so far.  Which of the following picture are from American and which are local bought here in the Philippines?

Need a job?  Looking for a captive audience?  How about selling drinks and snacks to people stuck in traffic?

Or how about setting up a table on the outside fence to a golf course?  That way in the middle of the game if the golfer needs more balls he can send his caddy just a few yards to buy some through the fence.

It isn't the clearest picture but I think you get the idea.  Instead of using electricity, which costs money and often can go out because of the weather, why not be creative in gated communities maned by an arm guard 24 hours a day?  This gate is raised and lowed with a rope tied onto the left side of the bar and a box of rocks attached to the right side of the bar.  How imaginative!

The last picture on resourcefulness has to be in reference to the palm tree.  They call the palm tree the tree of life here.  I did a quick google search on all the ways they use a palm tree and some claimed up to 100 ways! (Google for yourself to learn more)  From fruit itself to the leaves of the tree and even the truck.  Every part has some use.  Even old coconut shell husks used to be used to help scrub floors.  The household brooms are made from the coconut tree.

Even Jakob has picked up on the resourcefulness trait.  He has gotten quite imaginative in his nap time.  He naps in the car, while stuck in traffic, on the way to school each day.  Brilliant idea my son.