Ordinary, Not Missionary

Just this week I was talking to my husband and I was telling him how I didn’t feel very “missionary”, but instead I felt very ordinary.  I am not sure exactly what image I have in my head when I think of a “missionary”, but it surely isn’t a self-portrait!  Ha ha…The picture in my mind is someone who is adventurous, loves learning new cultures, has a whole bookshelf devoted to missionary biographies, a self-starter, out-going, independent, doesn’t wear make-up, and has dreamt of missionary adventures for years.  None of which I would use to describe myself.

“ ‘Ordinary, not Missionary’ that would be a good title for a sermon,” Allan said as we continued to talk about this subject.  And then he made a comment that made my heart smile.  “I know I am not impressive and I am okay with that.  Actually I am glad I am not impressive because then I know that whatever good happens is the work of Christ in my life and not me.”  Do you ever have those moments when your husband says or does something that makes your heart swell with pride and reminds you how and why you feel in love?  Something that makes you feel like the luckiest girl in the world because a man like that chose you as his wife?  Well that statement was one of those moments for me.

I remember one of the earliest conversations Allan and I had, it was during the first few weeks of when we started dating.  We were sitting at a meal and asking each other questions, getting to know each other better.  One of my questions to him was “what were you like before you were saved?”  He didn’t have to think long to give his answer, he knew right away.  “Angry.  I was a very angry person.”

Really?  Out of all of the adjectives I would use to describe Allan, angry would never cross my mind.  It is actually the exact opposite of who I believe my husband to be.  He almost never takes anything personally.  When someone does directly criticize, confront or point out one of his failures he is the quickest to agree with them and thank them for revealing his shortcomings. Not because he lacks “self-esteem”, but rather because he understands the Gospel and the his need for a Savior.  He never boasts in his talents or gifts and if he is in a group of other men with the same gifts, he will always defer to them and take the backseat.  In other words he is a humble man.

I on the other hand take a lot of things personally.  I do not take critique humbly, and it almost always fuels my pride.  If I am in a group of ladies with similar talents and gifts as myself I will always hope they choose me because I want my own abilities to be highlighted and praised by others.

That is why my heart smiled and my chest swelled with pride when my husband made that statement that he knows he is not impressive.  It smiled because I know God is at work in his life.  It smiled because I know my husband is genuine and such a statement is not natural for man to say.  It smiled because I know that I have no ordinary husband.  No, my husband is far from ordinary.  He is a humble, gracious, long-suffering man who is the first to realize he is a sinner in need of grace.  And when he made that statement I was reminded why I am one of the luckiest women on earth!  Sure we may feel like a very ordinary couple, and we may not fit the “missionary” mold (whatever that really is)…but I am eager and excited to go through life as my husband’s wife because I know that God uses humble sinners.

“But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us.” (2 Corinthians 4:7)

"For consider your calling, brethren, that there were not many wise according to the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble; but God has chosen the foolish things of the world to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to shame the things which are strong, and the base things of the world and the despised God has chosen, the things that are not, so that He may nullify the things that are, so that no man may boast before God. But by His doing you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, and righteousness and sanctification, and redemption, so that, just as it is written, “Let him who boasts, boast in the Lord.” (1 Corinthians 1:26-31)