“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will
give you rest. Take my yoke upon
you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart and you will find
rest for your souls. For my yoke
is easy, and my burden is light.”
Matthew 11:28-30
I have been creating standards greater than the standards
God outlines in His Word. The
result? A heavy burden and
toilsome day!
What was the heavy burden I was placing on my
shoulders? Potty training. Jakob was showing signs that he was
ready for potty training. So just
the other week I decided to try a certain potty training method. The method I tried was very specific on
the do’s and don’ts to follow for the success of this method. It was a very intense method, which
claimed if followed would produce results in days. Several of my friends said that method worked for them. I was excited and eager to try.
But not too long into the method I realized it was not
working for Jakob, nor was it the most ideal method to choose for our living
situation. And I realized that I
was not able to follow all of the requirements of the method. My mind soon began to wander, and my
wandering thoughts created emotions in me. “IF ONLY I was stronger and followed the method exactly!”… “IF ONLY I started potty training
when he was younger and follow some of the popular elimination communication techniques.” … “IF ONLY I
was like other moms who were able to potty train their kids in days.” … “WHAT
IF Jakob doesn’t potty train for several more years, how would that reflect on
my parenting?”
When you allow your mind to wander down the path of “if
only’s” and “what if’s” you will only find guilt, anxiety, pride, and
fear. My mind was so far away from
reality that I couldn’t think straight on the subject anymore. I was consumed with the idea that potty
training Jakob reflected on my ability as a mom. I was lusting and craving to accomplish potty training in a
hard way, because the harder the method the greater the medal I would receive
to put on my wall of accomplishments as a mother. Or so I thought.
Then I received grace.
Shortly after realizing I was failing in potty training I
ran away from my boys and hide and cried for a short while. I called my husband on the phone. He was gracious and listened. Later that afternoon he came home early
with my favorite ice cream shake an a delicious cookie. I thanked him for loving me so gently
when I had been so unlovely in my actions. He replied by saying that was because he had a Savior who
loved him when he was unlovely. Then
he asked me more about why I was so upset. He said, “Your standards in potty training are greater than
God’s standards.” To help me
thinking more biblical he told me to try and find one biblical illustration
each day from my daily life that pointed to the Truth.
The next day I was reading John 3:19-20 which says, “Light
has come into the world and the people loved the darkness rather than the light
because their deeds were evil. For
everyone who does wicked things hates the light and does not come to the light,
lest his deeds should be exposed.”
This verse reminded me of something I had heard recently regarding
repentance. Often repentance from
our sin is viewed as something undesirable and a drudgery. That was my opinion about potty
training. I knew my standards were
wrong. I knew that the God doesn’t
award people according to how quickly and efficiently they are able to potty
train their child. I knew I had to
turn, to change my thinking about potty training, but I didn’t want to. I craved the pride and praise of man I
would receive. In my mind potty
training reflected my strength, my control, my discipline, my will power. But I was in the darkness in my
thinking and I did not want to repent because I knew that repentance would
reveal this wrong thinking. So I
remained in the darkness.
But repentance is not a drudgery! Not at all!
Instead repentance from our sin is rest and joy because we are turning
to a gracious and loving God! When
I repented from my wrong thinking and went into the light of God’s Word I saw
forgiveness and grace! My
standards were greater than God’s, and as a result I had placed a heavy burden
on my shoulders. I was trying to
accomplish righteousness according to my own strength and ability.
While frustrated with potty training I tried to reconcile
the question, “how can I be content when I fail?” And God lovingly and graciously picked me in His arms and
said, “silly child, of course your strength will fail! If you strength did not fail then I did
not have to send my Son to die on the cross for you.” (Galatians 3:1-3)
When I turned to God’s Word for light on my situation I
found grace upon grace, waves of grace washing over me. And then I was able to see a biblical
illustration in the midst of potty training, just like Allan asked me to look
for. Jakob doesn’t understand why
he needs to go the potty. When he
does go he is usually only seeking praise from his mother. He takes pride in his independence,
strength and ability to do it on his own, without help. And other times he’d rather sit in his
dirty diaper instead of get changed.
Oh how that is a perfect illustration of me and my sin. I was fearful of repenting from my
wrong thinking, and I’d rather sit in my dirty diaper. But now each potty training situation
is a biblical illustration and reminder of God’s forgiveness and grace. It is a reminder that my standards are
greater than God’s and my strength is weak and not strong enough to obtain
righteousness. It is a reminder of
my need for a Savior.
“You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You,
because he trusts in you.” Isaiah
26:3
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