Monday, July 09, 2012

Potty Training: How Motherhood Humbles Me


“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”  Matthew 11:28-30

I have been creating standards greater than the standards God outlines in His Word.  The result?  A heavy burden and toilsome day! 

What was the heavy burden I was placing on my shoulders?  Potty training.  Jakob was showing signs that he was ready for potty training.  So just the other week I decided to try a certain potty training method.  The method I tried was very specific on the do’s and don’ts to follow for the success of this method.  It was a very intense method, which claimed if followed would produce results in days.  Several of my friends said that method worked for them.  I was excited and eager to try. 

But not too long into the method I realized it was not working for Jakob, nor was it the most ideal method to choose for our living situation.  And I realized that I was not able to follow all of the requirements of the method.  My mind soon began to wander, and my wandering thoughts created emotions in me.  “IF ONLY I was stronger and followed the method exactly!”… “IF ONLY I started potty training when he was younger and follow some of the popular elimination communication techniques.”    “IF ONLY I was like other moms who were able to potty train their kids in days.” … “WHAT IF Jakob doesn’t potty train for several more years, how would that reflect on my parenting?”

When you allow your mind to wander down the path of “if only’s” and “what if’s” you will only find guilt, anxiety, pride, and fear.  My mind was so far away from reality that I couldn’t think straight on the subject anymore.  I was consumed with the idea that potty training Jakob reflected on my ability as a mom.  I was lusting and craving to accomplish potty training in a hard way, because the harder the method the greater the medal I would receive to put on my wall of accomplishments as a mother.  Or so I thought.  Then I received grace.

Shortly after realizing I was failing in potty training I ran away from my boys and hide and cried for a short while.  I called my husband on the phone.  He was gracious and listened.  Later that afternoon he came home early with my favorite ice cream shake an a delicious cookie.  I thanked him for loving me so gently when I had been so unlovely in my actions.  He replied by saying that was because he had a Savior who loved him when he was unlovely.  Then he asked me more about why I was so upset.  He said, “Your standards in potty training are greater than God’s standards.”  To help me thinking more biblical he told me to try and find one biblical illustration each day from my daily life that pointed to the Truth.

The next day I was reading John 3:19-20 which says, “Light has come into the world and the people loved the darkness rather than the light because their deeds were evil.  For everyone who does wicked things hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his deeds should be exposed.”  This verse reminded me of something I had heard recently regarding repentance.  Often repentance from our sin is viewed as something undesirable and a drudgery.  That was my opinion about potty training.  I knew my standards were wrong.  I knew that the God doesn’t award people according to how quickly and efficiently they are able to potty train their child.  I knew I had to turn, to change my thinking about potty training, but I didn’t want to.  I craved the pride and praise of man I would receive.  In my mind potty training reflected my strength, my control, my discipline, my will power.  But I was in the darkness in my thinking and I did not want to repent because I knew that repentance would reveal this wrong thinking.  So I remained in the darkness.

But repentance is not a drudgery!  Not at all!  Instead repentance from our sin is rest and joy because we are turning to a gracious and loving God!  When I repented from my wrong thinking and went into the light of God’s Word I saw forgiveness and grace!  My standards were greater than God’s, and as a result I had placed a heavy burden on my shoulders.  I was trying to accomplish righteousness according to my own strength and ability. 

While frustrated with potty training I tried to reconcile the question, “how can I be content when I fail?”  And God lovingly and graciously picked me in His arms and said, “silly child, of course your strength will fail!  If you strength did not fail then I did not have to send my Son to die on the cross for you.”  (Galatians 3:1-3)

When I turned to God’s Word for light on my situation I found grace upon grace, waves of grace washing over me.  And then I was able to see a biblical illustration in the midst of potty training, just like Allan asked me to look for.  Jakob doesn’t understand why he needs to go the potty.  When he does go he is usually only seeking praise from his mother.  He takes pride in his independence, strength and ability to do it on his own, without help.  And other times he’d rather sit in his dirty diaper instead of get changed.  Oh how that is a perfect illustration of me and my sin.  I was fearful of repenting from my wrong thinking, and I’d rather sit in my dirty diaper.  But now each potty training situation is a biblical illustration and reminder of God’s forgiveness and grace.  It is a reminder that my standards are greater than God’s and my strength is weak and not strong enough to obtain righteousness.  It is a reminder of my need for a Savior.

“You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in you.”  Isaiah 26:3

No comments:

Post a Comment