Learning Thankfulness

I have learned that I am not a thankful person. A variety of events and circumstances have revealed that to me recently. One is the new stage of motherhood that I am now in – mother of a toddler. Our son is approaching 1 ½ years old and he is quite the active, happy and energetic little boy. He loves dancing, running down hills, exploring, climbing, playing with balls, being outside, clapping, smiling and “talking”. He rarely stops unless he is eating or sleeping. I am also now in my third trimester of pregnancy, so that means I am more tired and need more sleep. I should take the opportunity to nap and rest when my son rests. But it is often a struggle to stop and nap. Why? Because I want “me time”. My desire to have my “own time” each day where I can rest and do what I want often persuades me to give up my much needed nap so I can do things to serve myself. My selfish fear is that I will be on the same sleep schedule as my son and thus, always have to attend to him when I am awake. When my physical weariness overcomes me and I take the nap, I am often mad at myself and frustrated that another day went by without any “me time”.

What’s wrong with this picture? Ha ha… it is all about me. I wonder how many times I wrote the word “I” or “me” in the paragraph above? I bet many moms could probably relate to my struggle. After all no temptation has come to me except which is common to mankind. But do I sound like a thankful person? Why do I look at my situation so direly sometimes? Why not be thankful? I do have MUCH to be thankful about. Such a beautiful, healthy, happy little boy! He is full of smiles, fun and life. He is adorable and brings happiness to many with his energetic smile and personality. And when I do take the time to shepherd my thoughts according to Scripture it really does bring peace and rest to my soul and helps me endure another day in this season of my life.

Let me share a couple things from my day yesterday that caused me to be thankful.

My husband and I went to the monthly missions meeting at our church last night. That is a meeting our church has once a month and usually has a few missionaries or people give updates on a variety of ministries connected with our church occurring around the world. Well one man gave an update, Josiah Grauman, that really stood out to me as a man who is genuinely thankful. Everything he shared I found a way that I would have been grumbling or complaining. Extreme health problems for him and his newborn son. A ministry that requires a lot of work. But he didn’t even vaguely present his circumstances in a complaining or negative light. I kept thinking, “this is a man who is thankful – I want to have thankfulness like him.” And I was sooo encouraged by his thankfulness. Sometimes in the past when people seem overly thankful about life I get frustrated and mad at them like they are some sort of “Pollyanna” type person. I have heard of others creating a “thankful” list of all of things they are thankful for daily. They do this in order to help foster a thankful attitude. But I have pridefully shrugged off this little exercise, not wanting to be a “fake Pollyanna”. But yesterday, with Josiah’s testimony, I saw the blessing and encouragement it is to others when you are a thankful person. And the peace (instead of weariness) it brings your own soul when you are thankful.

On my way down to the mission’s meeting I was listening to a CD. It is a CD I have heard tons of time before. It is one of those CDs you’ve heard so much it just sort of fades into the background and you find yourself humming along without really listening to the words. Well a song came on that caught my attention. Well I finally realized the words that I have been humming along for a long time, yet not comprehending their truth, and it brought tears to my eyes. What an encouraging song! So timely too. Here, let me share it with you. It is a song I’d like to memorize the words to so I can sing it to myself when I am tempted to grow weary, to bring hope and peace to my soul. My body can nap 2 or even 3 times a day, but if my spirit isn’t resting in my good, loving, and wise God then I won’t be at rest.

When Trials Come
By Keith & Kristyn Getty

When trials come no longer fear
For in the pain our God draws near
To fire a faith worth more than gold
And there His faithfulness is told
And there His faithfulness is told

Within the night I know Your peace
The breath of God brings strength to me
And new each morning mercy flows
As treasures of the darkness grow
As treasures of the darkness grow

I turn to Wisdom not my own
For every battle You have known
My confidence will rest in You
Your love endures Your ways are good
Your love endures Your ways are good

When I am weary with the cost
I see the triumph of the cross
So in it's shadow I shall run
Till He completes the work begun
Till He completes the work begun

One day all things will be made new
I'll see the hope You called me to
And in your kingdom paved with gold
I'll praise your faithfulness of old
I'll praise your faithfulness of old