"How are you? No really, how ARE you?"

My husband and I had a friend back home who was from Singapore.  He made a passing comment once how he thought the American greeting of "How are you?" was odd.  He said people really don't want to know they answer, because he stopped one day to answer it by saying "oh my stomach hurts", and the greeter was caught off guard from getting a candid answer to his question.  His quandary over the American greeting always reminded me of something my college pastor said.  He asked the congregation on Sunday, "when was the last time you asked someone how they were?  Not the superficial greeting, but truly asked them what was a sin you repented of this week and how has that caused you to worship your Savior more?" I have always craved and appreciated those type of friendships, perhaps why I am drawn to biblical counseling.  But it is such a refreshing and joyful thing to have front row seats to God's work in another life.  

So if my blog was a coffee shop and this post a table for two and my words a nice warm latte with perfect foam on top, then pull up a chair, join me and let you tell you what sin I repented of this week and how I have seen my Savior more clearly as a result.

I struggle with depression, and the heat of certain circumstances brings out the fruit of depression in my life.  As an introspective person, when I struggle in a trial, I always have the temptation and danger to focus on my sin exclusively.  And when I do it blocks out any light of hope, leaving me guilty and condemned in the darkness of my mind.  My husband reminds me when I get like this, "of course you'd be depressed if all you see if your sin, sin is depressing!"

This week as I struggled with depression, I started reading about Charles Spurgeon and about his own struggle with it and the truth and verses he meditated on to turn from it.  He said,

"The awakened sinner's conscience fully aware of guilt of not believing in the Lord Jesus Christ is misery.  When a conscience goes against a man, he has a stern enemy to contend with.  So why do you tarry in your despair when Jesus bids you come to Him?  Shall the prisoner hug his chains?  If a heart is in darkness, and though it is but a candle I bring, yet that light shall be pleasant to its poor eyes so long used to this horrid gloom."

"The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it," John 1:5

"Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path." Psalm 119:105

"God is light, and in him is no darkness at all."  1 John 1:5

Another believer who struggled with depression was the hymn writer, William Cowper.  John Piper wrote and spoke about Cowper's struggle.  He said,

"You cannot persuade a person that he is not reprobate if he is utterly persuaded that he is.  All you can do is keep soaking him in the benevolence, mercy, goodness, and sympathy of Jesus and the sufficiency of the atonement and the fullness of completeness of Christ's justification.  He will say that they are wonderful in themselves but that they do not belong to him.  But in God's time these truths may yet be given the power to awaken hope and beget a spirit of adoption." 

The conscience of a man is a powerful thing.  It has the power to hold one prisoner in the captives of your mind.  But did you know that the Bible speaks about the conscience?  And did you know that the power of Christ's blood came to clean your conscience of guilt!

"For since the law has but a shadow of the good things to come instead of the true form of these realities, it can never, by the same sacrifices that are continually offered every year, make perfect those who draw near. Otherwise, would they not have ceased to be offered, since the worshipers, having once been cleansed, would no longer have any consciousness of sins? But in these sacrifices there is a reminder of sins every year." Hebrews 10:1-3

^"For if the blood of goats and bulls, and the sprinkling of defiled persons with the ashes of a heifer, sanctify for the purification of the flesh, how much more will the blood of Christ, who through the eternal Spirit offered himself without blemish to God, purify our conscience from dead works to serve the living God."  Hebrews 9:14

So therefore...."Let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, with our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful."  Hebrews 10:22-23

Has your conscience declared you guilty?  Remember that..."there is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus!" (Romans 8:1) Why?  Because the blood of Christ is not a reminder of sin and guilt, but a reminder of forgiveness!  In my foolishness I have been looking at Christ's blood like the blood of Old Testament sacrifices.  It served as a reminder to me of my sin and guilt.  But how much more does the blood of Christ wash my conscience!  For the blood of Christ should serve to remind me of forgiveness.

"The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.  He will not always chide; nor will he keep his anger forever. He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us. As a father shows compassion to his children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him. For he knows our frame; he remembers that we are dust." Psalm 103:8-14

"Who is a God like you, pardoning iniquity and passing over transgression for the remnant of his inheritance? He does not retain his anger forever, because he delights in steadfast love. He will again have compassion on us; he will tread our iniquities underfoot. You will cast all our sins into the depths of the sea." Micah 7:18-19

"Behold, it was for my welfare that I had great bitterness; but in love you have delivered my life from the pit of destruction, for you have cast all my sins behind your back." Isaiah 38:17

So yes I struggle with depression, but do not pity me!  You see I can now say with the psalmist "it was good for me to be afflicted! (Psalm 119:67)"  Because I do not see Christ's blood more clear or more complete than when I see it from the pit of depression.  I am no longer sitting in the dark of my sin, the Lord is gracious and has brought but a candle to make the darkness flee. Some may wonder why I share my struggles so vulnerably?  It is because of this....

"Those who fear you shall see me and rejoice, because I have hoped in your word.  I know, O Lord, that your rules are righteous, and that in faithfulness you have afflicted me.  Let your steadfast love comfort me according to your promise to your servant.  Let your mercy come to me, that I may live; for your law is my delight."  Psalm 119:74-77

I share because I hope it causes you to rejoice over the power of God's Word and the relentlessness of His love! 

So how about you?  How are you doing?  What sin have you repented of this week that has caused you to see your Savior more clearly?