Beyond my reach

Behind our house, immediately on the other side of wall there is a tree.  It is a santol tree.  The fruit is colorful and ripe.  It is not our tree, but the branches hang over the wall where we can see them clearly.  And with a gentle breeze those branches sway and the fruit is sometimes dropped into our backyard.

The trouble is we don't know exactly who lives behind that wall.  It looks more like a big warehouse than a private home.  Our boys call it "the spooky house" since it is big with dark windows and not much of any activity.  As you might assume in a "spooky house", no one is there to pick the fruit.  Seeing the ripe fruit slowly being to rot and fall makes me want to reach up and pick them.

But they are beyond my reach.

Beyond my reach, highlighting my limitations.  It reminded me of how I feel sometimes living in a new land not my own.  Somehow living in a new place can make you nostalgic.  Like the Israelites, longing to return to Egypt rather than trust God, His plan, power and promises.

"The whole congregation of the sons of Israel grumbled against Moses and Aaron in the wilderness.  The sons of Israel said to them, 'Would that we had died by the Lord's hand in the land of Egypt, when we sat by the pots of meat, when we ate bread to the full; for you have brought us out into the wilderness to kill this whole assembly with hunger." Exodus 16:2-3

"Oh foolish Israelites" we say, "why are they looking back when they are missing the mighty work God is doing in their lives right now?  Sure wandering in the wilderness is hard and trying, but look at how powerful, faithful and good your God is!"

When trials come, I can often relate to those foolish Israelites, thinking of how much more I could accomplish before my circumstances changed.  Questioning God and doubting His goodness and control in my life.  Lies I am tempted to believe, such as "I could have been a better wife and mother when culture, language, and a new surrounding didn't limit my abilities."

Just like those santol fruits, everyday life seems just out of my reach now.  Before I seemed to accomplish and do so much more for my husband and children.

"Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, so now, not only as in my presence but much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure." Philippians 2:12-13

Therefore.  Wherefore.  For this reason. = Because of Christ's humiliation to become a man and die on the cross for our sins, I receive salvation.

So.... work out your salvation.

Work out. Cultivate.  Carry out to the goal.  Fully complete. = My salvation is still not yet complete.  I am a new man but I carry around this body of death in this life.  My salvation will be complete at glorification.  Thus, I am on a journey.  I am working towards a goal of complete salvation.

How do I carry on in this life towards this goal?  The verse tells me with fear and trembling.  With serious caution and tenderness of conscience, distrusting myself.  What God is calling me to is to not trust myself.  He calls me to humble myself, admit my limitations.

But how can I do that?  Who will show me how to live?

Christ.

Jesus Christ is my example.  It is He who will do this work in me.  How easy it is to yell at those foolish Israelites when you read the Old Testament, scolding them for longing to return to Egypt.  But I too am scolded and reminded of my foolishness in comparison to the greatness of my God and Savior.

Thank you God for my limitations.