This morning the first thought that
came to mind after I woke up and began reviewing the day ahead of me was, “I
need lists!” I was eager for my
first free moment so I could search Pinterest for lists, charts and schedules. Excitement and anticipation filled me
up as I pondered what great things I could accomplish today by pursuing such an
activity. Specifically, I wanted
to find a chore chart and a potty training chart. If I found the perfect charts then that would reflect on
what an organized and disciplined mother I am and prove that I am a good
manager of our home. If only a
beautiful to-do list and schedule were on my wall, then others would see and
know that I have it all under control, that I am efficient, focused and
purposeful. Those were the earliest
thoughts of my day and source of my motivation to get out of bed.
But ironically, and providentially,
one of the things I found during my search for the perfect chart was a link to
an article written by a mom called “Confessions of a Chore Chart Dropout.” I quickly read through the article and
thought, “it’s possible to a faithful mom without a pretty chore chart?” Such a thought stopped me in my
pursuits and made me reflect and begin to think, “Why do I love charts, lists
and schedules so much? Why do they
make me feel better about myself and ease my conscience?” Then I realized that the sermon I heard
on Sunday was applicable to me at this very moment.
The sermon was given by Bruce A.
Ware at Community Bible Church in Vallejo, on Isaiah 6:1-13 titled Beholding the God of Merciful Holiness. He restated a principle made by A.W.
Tozer in his book Knowledge of the Holy,
and it was this:
God
has so made us that we instinctively, naturally, seek to become like whatever
it is we esteem most highly. More
simply: we become like what we love (Ps 115:8; 135:18; Hos 9:10)
The depths of my heart are oh so
often drawn to the idol of control and autonomy. I seek to obtain all knowledge so I don’t have to depend on
others and therefore can then be self-sufficient. But such a pursuit is burdensome and wearisome because I am
a sinner and I constantly fall short.
I think that is why lists and charts and schedules appeal to me so much,
I can adjust the standard according to my situation and circumstances and therefore
feel good when I am able to meet my goals.
But Bruce Ware preached that in
order to know God we must first understand God’s transcendence before we
understand His immanence.
Transcendence = Surpassing others; preeminent or supreme;
completely other and self-sufficient
Immanence = nearness; remaining within; indwelling
Bruce continued…when Isaiah saw the Lord his response was
“Woe is me!” (Isaiah 6:5) He was
able to clearly see his own sin because he saw the transcendence of God! This vision appeared to Isaiah in the
year that King Uzziah died. King
Uzziah was a good king of Judah, but he was struck with leprosy and died in
shame. Why? Because he tried to perform priestly
duties. God had clear
instructions, priests were to come from the line of Levi and kings were to come
from the line of Judah. King
Uzziah disobedied God’s clear instruction in His Word and mixed the two.
So this vision from Isaiah occurred
at a time of great uncertainty.
Who would become king now?
And what did Isaiah see during this time of great uncertainty? He saw a vision of a king inside the
temple! A king in the temple,
isn’t that exact sin that Uzziah paid great consequences for? How could a king perform priestly
duties? Only one person is
transcendent and holy to fulfill such a vision, the great King Priest, the Lord
Jesus Christ!
I
don’t have time to summarize the whole sermon (but you can listen to it here if you'd like). But one of his main premises was this, “how do you persevere
and carry out difficult ministry in a time of uncertainty?” Answer, “willing and persevering
service flows out of knowledge of God.”
Training
toddlers in using the potty correctly and consistently is difficult. And it is common knowledge that it
takes perseverance to instruct toddlers how to be faithful in common every day
tasks, such as getting dressed, eating their veggies and cleaning up after
themselves. But in this difficult season of motherhood with uncertainty if your
daily efforts will accomplish your goals how do you persevere? Isaiah 6 teaches that knowledge of God
is the key.
So
if it is true that we become like what we pursue. Then my pursuit of oversimplifying impossible tasks into
measurable standards I can control (and always meet) reveals my love of
self-righteousness and self-sufficiency.
Instead I need to turn and know my God! He is not obligated to help me in my time of need nor am I
entitled to His grace, goodness and forgiveness. But not only is He the initiator of mercy, but His goal in
showing mercy is to restore my relationship to Him and call me to usefulness
and service!
What will help me persevere through
potty training and the toddler years?
Fancy lists, charts and schedules? (Sure maybe to some extent, but they are merely a tool.) But intimate knowledge of His
forgiveness for when I fail…and knowledge of His providence over each accident…and
knowledge that our actions cannot quench His steadfast love and unending mercy towards
His children. Yes! That is the knowledge that will help me
persevere through these difficult and uncertain years – knowledge that my God
and Savior is transcendent to my own failures and also immanent in mercy.
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