Learning to care for my appearance

Before I stayed home full-time to be a wife and mother, there would hardly go a day where I didn't dry and style my hair and put on makeup.  It didn't feel like a spent extravegant time on my appearance, but I was faithful to make sure I looked good.  Then after becoming a mother I stayed home almost all of the time, so I rarely did my hair and makeup.  The times I would spend the time to do my hair and makeup would be those couple times a week when I went out of the house.

I guess I have a variety of excuses....no one will see me (except maybe the clerk at the super market),  and I will only see my husband for a couple of hours at the end of the day before I get changed into my pajamas for the evening, so why bother?  Even if I wanted to spend more time on my hair and makeup I can't because I barely have time to switch out of my pajamas before lunch on most days.  It is sorta an "all or nothing" thing in my mind.  If I don't have the time to dry and style my hair then the only other option is a hat or ponytail.  And if I didn't have time to shower before the start of my day, then the only appropriate thing to wear would be jeans and a tee-shirt, and even that is "fancy".

But lately I have been thinking of how I can better care for my appearance with the time I do have.  I guess this has been on my mind lately since I have been trying to learn the biblical understanding of romance and passion.  The principles of Philippians 2:3-5 ring through my head and convict my soul,  "Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus."  So instead of focusing on what I want from passion and romance, I have been trying to focus on what my husband desires and dreams of passion and romance for our relationship.  And one of the things he appreciates is when I take care of my appearance.

One advice I wish I had received before I had children was "learn how to take care of your appearance with limited and unexpected time".  I know how to take care of my appearance if I had a full uninterrupted hour to spend on myself each morning, but how do I do it as a mother of young children when my days and mornings are unpredictable?  So what happens on those mornings when my kids wake up earlier than expected?  How do I style my hair to make it nice for my husband when it hasn't been washed in 24 hours, full of oil and sticking out in bedhead fashion?  I am trying to learn that it is possible to "fix it up" with french braids, buns, or quick up-dos even when I don't have time to shower first.

Clothes.  What about clothes?  I have seen plenty "What Not to Wear" television episodes to realize that my sweats and tee-shirts would probably not pass their inspection.  I am naturally drawn to earth tones and black colors.  I remember one time we were going out for a quick hamburger as a family and I had on my black sweat pants, black sweatshirt and black do-rag hair thingy.  My husband NEVER asks me to change, but this time he quietly commented, "you are going out like that?  You look a little gothic."  So I switched then out we went.  When we got to the restaurant my husband pointed out a lady walking back to her car.  She looked like a biker woman, in all black with a black rag in her hair.  All my husband said was, "see that woman, that could have been you."  ha ha.  

 It is hard to get motivated.   My husband said one motivation is be the woman we would like our own sons to be attracted to when they grow up. So I am consciously trying to find more colorful clothes to wear.  I am trying to find stylish, fashionable, and modest clothing that are comfortable and practical to wear as a mother of young children.  

 Also, I am more motivated to do this because Titus 2:4 says, "train the younger women to love their husbands."  This verse says we have be trained to love our husbands, it does not come naturally on its own.  And the word for love in this verse is "phileo."  Carolyn Mahaney explains more in her book Feminine Appeal,

-->“This word describes the love between very close friends.  It is tender, affectionate, passionate kind of love.  It emphasizes enjoyment and respect in a relationship... It is not a dutiful love; it is characterized by joy and delight. (Page 32 & 45)"  The exact love I was yearning for in butterflies and fireworks is the love that is commanded for a wife to give to her husband! The love I wanted to receive I must give away.  I want to take care of my appearance because it is something my husband desires and it is a way I can show him respect and honor.  But most of all I want to do it so that "the word of God may not be reviled. (Titus 2:5)"