Naptime: How Motherhood Humbles Me

I enjoy reading blogs on my kindle fire, especially with the google reader app.  It almost feels like a modern day version of my mom’s magazines or catalogs – things she had laying around the house while we were growing up that she’d read when she had a little down time.  Something I noticed on a few of the blogs I follow is that they often have a “series”.  As my sons were falling asleep today for their naps I was thinking of a new series I could start on my own blog—how motherhood humbles me.

The idea of a series may have come from reading various blogs, but the series idea itself came from the book project I am working on (I guess that is what you’d call it).  It was about two years ago when Jakob was only a couple months old when I got an email from the MABC program at TMC.  The email was asking for students who were willing to share their testimony through a particular trial they went through.  They would then collect the various testimonies and compile them into a book.  The main premise and focus of the book is based off of 2 Corinthians 1: 4 to comfort others who are in affliction and suffering with the comfort we received in Christ through our own suffering.  I was in the middle of adjusting to motherhood and not doing well at all to say the least.  I responded to the email and said they should have a chapter on new motherhood struggles.  They replied and asked if I wanted to share my testimony.  Well fast-forward two years and the deadline for me to submit my testimony on my struggles of new motherhood is approaching at the end of this month. 

Writing my testimony has been such a blessing!  I had no idea what a blessing it would be to sit down and gather my thoughts and express concretely what I struggled with and what I learned and how God changed me through my struggles as a new mom.  It has encouraged me so much that I want to continue this exercise for myself on all trials I go through in life, to journal through my trials and record how God teaches me and changes me.  At the end of the trial it is such a beautiful testimony and encouragement to see the big picture and rejoice over what God has done in my life.

So back to the new series idea for my blog.  I thought something fun would be to record the various aspects of how motherhood humbles me.  One of the various ways I am humbled in motherhood is through naptime.  Naptime has brought out more sin in me than I ever anticipated.  I constantly battle with how to spend my time while my sons are napping.  Do I pay bills and work on finances?  Or do I sit down with a cup of coffee and surf the internet?  It brings out my expectation and perceived “right” I have to daily “me time” to focus on myself.  Thus, when the boys do not nap according to plan do I respond in self-pity and anger?  It is deceiving and gives me false ideas as to where my true rest lies.  Does it lie in a nap for myself?  It also brings out my self-righteousness.  Am I a better mom because I can “make” my sons follow a daily schedule?  Am I a failure as a mom because my son takes too long of a nap or too short of a nap or a nap at the wrong time?  And when I am lost and at the end of myself where do I turn for help and wisdom about naptime?  Do I turn to Mr. Google, online chat forums, and sleep manuals?

How humbling that all of this sin, failure and shortcomings come out from a mere little routine naptime?

Today my heart smiled when I looked at my sons napping.  Jakob had his butt in the air and his favorite blankey around his head.  They were both asleep at the same time, which is rare. Watching them both sleep put my heart at rest and made me see the big picture of motherhood and the struggles of naptime seemed so insignificant.  For that moment my mind did not spiral into overanalyzing naptime and I enjoyed watching them sleep.  Wow how such a simple activity has humbled me.