Trevor's Birth

I thought I would sit down and write out a brief summary of Trevor’s birth before too much time has passed and I forget all of the small details of how God worked. I enjoy hearing mom’s share about their birth experience, as each one is unique and different. And there is not one right or wrong way how it is done. Kinda like an engagement story, all married people have one and each is unique.

Well I was 9 days over due from my calculated due date for Trevor. My doctor only likes to wait 1 week past the due date and then she likes to induce to get labor started. Inducement was not my choice or preference, but because we choose to have her as my doctor, we wanted to submit to her authority in this area. I remember on the ride home from the appointment when we had to schedule the inducement that I was sad. I told Allan that I was sad and disappointed that I had to be induced. He immediately told me to list all of things I could be thankful for being induced. Together we listed several things. It really did help calm my heart.

But as the days got closer to the actual scheduled inducement date I got fearful and scared again. So I asked a few of my friends for prayer. I remember I had two main prayer requests. One was that I would not get the same nurse as I had with my delivery with Jakob. I had so much memory and emotions tied with my delivery of Jakob, and I did not get along with the nurse I had. The thought of receiving the same nurse again caused me to start to panic. My second request was that I would have joy and thankfulness at the delivery of Trevor. Last time because I had wrong expectations and focus, when Jakob actually arrived I was so consumed with myself that I wasn’t thankful to God or praising God. But instead wallowing in self-pity. I wanted to be able to rejoice and thank God genuinely from my heart when Trevor arrived. I didn’t want my faith to fail and result in unbelief in my good Savior. But I knew I was weak and had little faith that God would be gracious to me. So those were my two requests.

My appointment was at 7am. We arrived at 7am but there was no room in the triage. The triage was full of patients who were there all night and all of them were waiting for a delivery room of their own. Even those in the delivery rooms were waiting for recovery rooms. So we had to wait in the lobby until a bed opened up in the triage. We waited in the lobby until 11am. It was relaxing and peaceful. Both Allan and I read as we waited. When it was time to finally get checked into triage the same nurse that I had before greeted me and told me she was going to be my nurse and to get my stuff ready. Allan and I then went to get ready. I started to cry and told Allan I didn’t want her as a nurse again. Allan helped calm my down. I asked him why didn’t God answer my prayer? I told him my faith was weak. He then said it isn’t the strength or amount of my faith that matters, instead it is THE OBJECT OF MY FAITH. He said God knows the number of hairs on my head. He asked me what use is it to know the number of hairs on my head? He said it is not very useful information. But God is so intimately aware of me that He even knows the hairs on my head.

So we got checked into triage and I got assigned the nurse I didn’t want. I knew you could request another nurse so I asked her if I could speak to the charge nurse. Shortly after another nurse came in and told me she was going to be my nurse. I was sooo happy! I asked what happened to the first nurse, and she said they switched. The charge nurse came in and explained some things. I was so happy because I really did not think God cared or would answer my request for the nurse thing. My faith was weak, but the object of my faith was not.

Shortly after I arrived in triage my friend Michelle came to help support Allan and me in my labor and help coach me. They started me on pitocin around 12pm to get contractions started. It started off slow. Michelle was a great coach and help to Allan and I. While my contractions were mild she asked me what I was thinking about during the contraction. Nothing really I told her. She said that I should use these mild contractions to practice thinking right for the bigger contractions to come. Some of the things I thought about during my contractions were the God was so intimately aware and near me that He knew the number of hairs on my head. I also thought about what Allan said, that it wasn’t the strength of my faith by the object of my faith. I also thought that each contraction was the hand of God delivering my baby. The scripture says it is God who takes the baby from the womb. So no matter if it is completely natural or use of pain killers or induced or c-section – it is all in God’s timing and it is Him working.

Around 2pm my water broke on it’s own. Michelle and the nurse were encouraged because now my own body’s pitocin would kick in to help labor continue. I still didn’t have my own room, but was still in triage. I really didn’t mind it because I thought of Jesus not having His own room. I was thankful to have a bed. Another thought I had was someone told me that the time of the actual contractions is less time then the time of the rests between the contractions. So in the whole labor process you are resting more than you are actually in contractions. That helped me think rightly about each contraction. It reminded me of a soccer drill that my dad liked to do when we were younger. He called them “doggies”. Where you sprint from one cone to another cone, back and forth. And you get to rest in between. I hated that drill, it was probably my least favorite. But I knew it was possible because you got to rest between each sprint. Labor reminded me of that in some odd way.

Something that saddened me during labor was there was a women in the next bed to me in triage who was laboring all by herself. She had no one with her. She was in so much pain and crying. My heart broke for her to have to go through this without the support of a friend or family or the father of the baby.

Finally around 3:15pm they said a room finally opened. The last time they checked my progress before I was moved to the room, I was at 5 cm dilated and totally effaced. During the labor process I was standing and squatting in the beginning, and then later as it progressed I was squatting as I sat on the bed. When they moved me to my own room they had me lie down. Lying down caused the contractions to be soo much more painful. I started moaning. When we arrived in my own room I was in soo much pain. I was screaming and panicking. And all of a sudden I had soo much pressure and I wanted to push. They checked me and I was 8 cm dilated. The contractions seemed to be one on top of another and I kept screaming. I hadn’t been screaming or moaning at all before. I lost my focus and started to panic. So they checked me again and I was at 10 cm and ready! Allan said all of a sudden tons of nurses came into the room to prep it. The doctor arrived and sad I could push. I was soo happy to be able to finally push. Trevor arrived only after a couple pushes at 3:35pm. Allan said it would have been nice to have a camera to record my reaction. He said my change was soo immediate. I was screaming and in pain one second and then as soon as Trevor arrived I was happy and rejoicing!

And I really was rejoicing. They put him on my tummy and I was soo happy and genuinely praising God. God was faithful even when my faith was weak. I had joy and thanksgiving over the arrival of Trevor. God had heard my prayers and sooo graciously answered them, because as Allan reminded me that God must remain faithful to His promises to His redeemed children. If God killed His own Son in order to redeem my sinful soul, how much more will He help me now that I am His adopted daughter! He must remain faithful to His character, and that He does not depend on the strength or ability of my own faith.

Looking back now I think that what I thought about during my labor and throughout each contraction played a role in how I responded once Trevor arrived. Because I was thinking on Scripture and Truth about my Savior, I was able to rejoice when Trevor arrived. Last time I was thinking about myself, my worries, my fears, my “rights”, my “righteousness” and how I would look to others throughout my labor – thus, when Jakob arrived I didn’t rejoice but wallowed in self pity and regret. My labor experience has really thought me a lot. It has encouraged me to be able to see visibly the outcome of when you thinking rightly and focus on God’s character. Even now as we beginning to adjust to having two kids. I have had a few times where things seemed overwhelming and unbearable. Allan reminded me to apply what I learned through my labor process. I told him that my hormones are going wild as they adjust, and it makes me feel so on edge, like I could cry at any moment. Allan reminded me that I can’t control the hormones, but the hormones will only heighten my emotions of whatever I am thinking upon. So if I am thinking upon “what if’s” and possible worries of tomorrow –when the hormones come it will heighten that. But if I am thinking on my God and Savior, then when the hormones come my emotions will be heighten with joy! What wonderful encouragement to think rightly about my Savior.