I am starting to see a pattern develop in this journey of motherhood. ☺ It is a humbling journey that can be weary and peace-robbing (did I just make up that word?) if I keep trying to understand it apart from God and His Word. But God is gracious to show me so many illustrations of His love and compassion right from motherhood itself! And He is so gentle too in His means of teaching – one can hardly call a sweet, beautiful, healthy baby a trial!
My soul gets anxious and worried so easily. I see fear, despair and depression creeping up on me when I try so hard to figure out motherhood. Right when I think I have gained wisdom and control in this new role of mine, Jakob changes. Why does my joy and happiness fluctuate depending on Jakob’s behavior? It can be quite tiresome as a mom when your happiness is dependent on your baby’s demeanor. I mean, they are a baby after all and will be happy one moment and then crying the next. If I base my happiness on that of course I will be tired and weary! But several passages and books have stood out to me recently to remind me of where my happiness and steady peace shall come from. And I want to share them with you:
• Paraphrased from Counsel from the Cross by Elyse Fitzpatrick and Dennis Johnson
I need the song of the gospel to take center stage and drown out all other voices of pride, despair, works-righteousness, fear, and self-trust. I am grieved that I so frequently ignore the gospel my Savior is singing so sweetly to me. Can you hear him singing this never-ending theme to you, his bride?
• From Morning Devotions by Susannah Spurgeon: Free Grace and Dying Love
Romans 8:32 “He that spared not his own Son, … how shall he not with him also freely give us all things?” Faith’s fingers are joyfully touching the keys of this carillon [a set of bells in a tower played using a keyboard] of sweet bells this morning, and making them ring jubilantly to the praise of your Name!
How shall he not!
How shall he not!
He that spared not!
How shall he not!
Lord, quicken my faith, give me to see how deep and wide, and full and free, is the unspeakable love which spared not your own Son, and therefore can spare every other gift, to me, your undeserving child! I thank you that I can ring these charming bells here, now, in the sanctuary of my heart, and all day long in the open cloisters of my daily life, I may make your glad music resound to your glory, and my own exceeding happiness!
How shall he not!
How shall he not!
• Zephaniah 3:17 “The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.” (ESV)
• Psalm 131:2-3 “I have calmed and quieted my soul, like weaned child with its mother [like a weaned child who no longer cries for his mother's milk (NLT)]; like a weaned child is my soul within me. O Israel, hope in the Lord from this time forth and forevermore! (ESV)
• Deuteronomy 8:2-3 “And you shall remember the whole way that the Lord your God has led you these forty years in the wilderness, that he might humble you, testing you to know what was in your heart, whether you would keep his commandments or not. And he humbled you and let you hunger and fed you with manna, which you did not know, not did your father know, that he might make you know that man does not live by bread alone, but man lives by every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord.” (ESV)
What wonderful truths to remember when I sing over Jakob to put him to sleep throughout the day. I can’t imagine a more gentle and gracious way for God to remind me of His love for me through the Gospel. By remembering the Gospel it is God’s way of singing over me and quieting me down. Just like how Jakob calms down and quiets his content soul after a feeding. When he is hunger he is so fussy and helpless to quiet himself. And just how I desire to rock and sing over Jakob – God desires to sing over me. If only I would stop to hear His song sung throughout the Scriptures!
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