My Least Favorite Part

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When Allan and I were deciding if we wanted to pursue ministering in the Philippines we weighed the pros and cons.  Like any big decision we made a mental list of reasons for going or staying.  Although they were very similar, his list did not match my list.  Looking solely at the job description, so-to-speak, of what Allan would be doing here by far my least favorite part was the frequent ministry trips that he would take.

Why?  Because my flesh is weak and I am tempted to allow my imagination to play into my fears and wander down “what if…” lane.  Because I am tempted to default into self-reliance and try to do a two person job by only my own strength, which only leaves me exhausted and angry.  Because when I try and do it all myself I always fail and realize I cannot do it and that inflames my pride. 

As I write this blog entry Allan just left for another trip this morning.  In some odd way this struggle makes me feel very normal and ordinary while living in a foreign land.  Why?  One, because I realize I am not alone.  I have several friends whose husband’s job requires him to be away from his family for extended periods.  Two, because this struggle is not anything new under the sun here in the Philippines, I had the exact same struggle back on the good ol’ U.S. of A. soil.

So as I sit here and begin to feel my emotions beginning to rule my spirit, rather than my convictions on the Truth rule my spirit, I realize I need to stop.  I need to stop and remind myself of the promises of the Word of God and the character of my precious Lord and Savior.  (Please excuse me as I talk to myself.)  J

Hebrews 5:8 “Although he [Jesus] was a son, he learned obedience through what he suffered.”

James 1:2 “Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.”

It is hard running the household in my husband’s absence, but I can take heart and be encouraged by the example of Jesus.  God is using this trial for good in my life and through it I can learn how to better obey my Lord.

Psalm 119:74-76 “Those who fear you shall see me and rejoice because I have hoped in your word. I know, O Lord, that your rules are righteous, and that in faithfulness you have afflicted me.  Let your steadfast love comfort me according to your promise to your servant.”

2 Corinthians 1:3-4 “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.”

My obedience to God’s Word can be a testimony to others about the power and sufficiency of the Word of God.  My circumstances or feelings are inadequate to comfort me at this time, but God is unchanging and his unfailing steadfast love will comfort me.  And the comfort I receive from the Word, I can then comfort others.

Psalm 23:1, 6 “The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.  Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life.”

Philippians 4:5-7 “Rejoice in the Lord always.  Again I will say rejoice! Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.  And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

Goodness and mercy are promised to pursue me like a lion ALL the days of my life (including those days Allan is away).  And the key to overcoming having my spirit being ruled by my emotions is to ground it in the Word of God and allow the promises and character of God to be my anchor.  Starting first by rejoice in the character and person of my Lord and Savior.  Then by offering my concerns and anxieties up to God through prayer.  Followed by deliberately choosing to give thanks, rather than complain.  It is then I am promised to receive peace.  I believe that promise!  That promise is mine!

Isaiah 26:3 “You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.”