Monday, June 02, 2014

A Letter to my friend, Ann E. Buddy


Dear Ann E. Buddy,

How are you?  Can you believe its been 1 month exactly since we left the US and moved to the Philippines?  In some ways it seems like its been much longer than one month.  Its 10am in the morning here and I am still in my pj’s, and there are dirty dishes in the sink waiting for me, and cut up veggies in the fridge needing to be prepared.  But the two older boys are playing quietly (well… as quiet as to be expected) and baby Noah is napping…. so I thought now was as good time as any to sit down and write a letter to my dear friend about how we are all doing and adjusting to our new life here on the islands. :)

As I type Allan is teaching his first official class at the training center, The Expositor’s Academy (TEA).  The class he is teaching is Old Testament Survey, which goes through the whole Old Testament.  The class should last to about October.  Just earlier this week Allan and I were talking over a glass of ice cold coke (gee I really really enjoy coca cola over here!) after the boys had gone to sleep.  Allan had a smile on his face and twinkle in his eye as he told me “I can’t believe I am doing what I have always wanted to do!  I thought my Old Testament professor in seminary had the best job in the world, he just got to study and teach the Bible for a living, and now I get to do the same!”  Times like that really make me thankful that I followed my husband to the mission field.

Anyways…I know you were asking how the boys are adjusting.  I had heard that kids are flexible and that they adjust much better than you expect.  But the mother in me still was anxious and doubted and wondered how they would do with the big adjustment.  But what I heard was true for my boys, they have done great with the move!  Jakob and Trevor play in the heat and humidity like it didn’t exist, only to have a drenched head of hair afterwards…ha ha.  And with less toys and distractions they are more creative in their play too.  One new game of theirs is chasing the dust bunnies that the electric fan stirs up with giggles and glee, and another is pretending the air con is so forceful that it pushes them clear across the room.  They also seem to get along better, realizing that they are each other’s best bud.  And baby Noah has been great too!  I have decided his new theme song will be “Super Trooper” by Abba.  This past month of transition has left no room for any sort of schedule or routine for little Noah.  We have dragged him all over the city and he has done great!  No crying and just napping in arms or on the cushion of a couch.

What was the other question you asked me?  Oh yeah now I remember… “what were some of things we didn’t expect”.  In many ways I knew what to expect before we moved here.  I knew the basic flavors of Filipino dishes and food I might be served.  I knew that traffic would be heavy and congested and that it would be a source of temptation to complain.  I knew the tone and rhythm of Tagalog that would soon become the new white noise in my life.  And I knew the proper ways to hold my purse while in public.  But there were also many unexpected things. 

For me, I didn’t expect that the weather would be, well… inescapable.  I knew the weather would be extreme, but I didn’t realize I wouldn’t be able to escape it.  Yes there is AC here (or air con as they refer to it), but is not central air and it is usually only in the bedroom.  I also didn’t expect to sweat in unusual places such as my chin, which gives me a constant feeling as though I am drooling.  Ha ha…  And I didn’t expect my water bottle to smell and taste like dirty gym socks if I leave it out in the heat too long. 

For Allan, he didn’t expect to become our family’s new human garbage disposal.  With no garbage disposal on our sink, and the threat of attracting creepy crawlies with left over crumbs, Allan faithfully makes sure our plates are clean when we finish each meal.  Those little ants sure are diligent.

But something we both didn’t expect was the lack of faithful, regular, and strong internet connection.  On one hand the lack of internet makes it harder to communicate and perform regular tasks we had grown to rely on it for.  But on the other hand it has had a great benefit to our marriage in that now Allan and I talk to each other more!  Ha ha…

Can I tell you something ironically surprising?  Even though its been only a month I can already see that my biggest source of anxiety and frustration with life here is exactly the same as it was in the States!  With most of necessities of life taken care of and set up (a place to live, new bank account, new driver’s license, a car to drive, groceries stocked, etc.), at the end of each day I am a wife and a mother.  There is nothing new under the sun, even over here half way around the world.  And the struggles common to mankind are the same ones that I will encounter here (except for maybe the different of encountering them with a little more drool on my chin.)  Which leads into the last question you asked… “what is your greatest need.”  That is a tricky question.  The initial knee jerk reaction to the question is… I need reliable internet…. or I need a dry chin…or I need a liter of coke every day. Ha ha…. Or if I wanted to take the cop-out Sunday School answer, “I need Jesus”.  But something happened just the other day that made me realize my greatest need.

The other day something happened that I took the wrong way and my feelings were hurt.  Allan immediately saw that something was wrong with me.  So being an observant and dutiful husband he asked me why I was sad.  I answered him and explained the source of my woes.  But he did not understand why I would be so hurt and sided against me.  I know this scenario is a very typical between a husband and wife.  Wife looks for sympathy and support but husband does not understand, leaving wife even more upset.  Back home when something like this would happen I would get upset, walk off somewhere quiet and call you.  Ha ha…. how many times have I called you in tears knowing you’d understand and comfort me? 

But this time I lost it completely!  Even in the midst of the moment I realized my behavior was extreme but I didn’t know why.  Then it hit me.  Over here Allan is my one true friend.  He is my one friend who understands me, who knows my weaknesses, my wants, my temptations and desires.  He is my one friend who can truly say “I understand” and then embrace me for comfort.  But when this conflict arose I realized I had no other option, no other friend I could turn to.  Back home in the states there was ultimately always someone, even if not readily available, that I could turn to.  But not here.  So when the conflict arose I lost it completely, never feeling so alone, realizing for the first time what true loneliness feels like.  So what did I do?  I picked up my phone and tried to call you multiple times, but it never went through (and I later found out it was because I was dialing incorrectly).

I didn’t mean to start a pity party, I really just wanted to illustrate a point, which is how does my little husband and wife conflict relate to your question of my biggest need? Well, it has revealed that my biggest need is to learn to run to Jesus for comfort, to learn to seek embrace in the arms of my Savior, to learn to find refuge in my Lord Jesus Christ.  My biggest need is not in finding a local version of Ann E. Buddy (although that has been one of my ongoing prayer requests), but instead my biggest need is embracing those situations and circumstances that highlight my loneliness and running for refuge and comfort to my Savior and Friend, Jesus Christ.

These verses further comfort me.
Nahum 1:7 “The Lord is good, a stronghold in the day of trouble; he knows those who take refuge in him.”
John 10:14 “I am the good shepherd.  I know my own and my own know me.” 
Psalm 103:10 “He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities.”
I want to meditate on their truth.  I love the reminder that the Lord is good.  Surely He will pursue me with His goodness!  I also love the reminder that the Lord is my refuge, my stronghold, my protection in the day of trouble and distress.  And the best part…. these verses remind me that my God knows me!  That means I am not alone, He knows my fears, He knows my temptations, He knows my failures and weaknesses and after all that He still wants me to take refuge in Him!  J  Can you help hold me accountable to memorize them?  Next time you write can you ask me how I am doing in memorizing these verses?

Well the boys are waking up from their nap so I better wrap this up…thanks for listening friend!  I know you would have answered your phone if I was able to get my phone to work (even if it was 3am your time)…. I know that because you are a faithful friend.  But please don’t let my story of tears and loneliness worry you.  You don’t have to worry because as faithful as you have been to be there for me, I have Someone who’s name is faithful and He promises to never leave me.  So I will be a-okay.
Love, Sandi

P.S. - How is everything in your life?  Did your Uncle Sam get that job in DC?  What about Aunt Flo, has she still been getting cramps?  Please K.I.T. I love hearing from you!  Miss you!

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